


Heavenly || Yoonseok / SOPE FanFiction.

by Ro_97



Category: K-pop, SOPE - Fandom, Yoonseok - Fandom, hopega - Fandom, hopemin - Fandom, jikook - Fandom, kpopfic, suhope - Fandom, taekook - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, Fanfiction, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hobi - Freeform, HopeGa, M/M, Minyoongi, Smut, Sope, SuHope, Yoonseok - Freeform, bts - Freeform, btsfanfic, btsjhope - Freeform, btssmut - Freeform, btssuga, hopemin - Freeform, hoseokff, jhope - Freeform, jhopeff, jihope - Freeform, jikook - Freeform, junghoseok, kookmin, kpop, kpopfanfic, kpopimagines, sobi, sopeff, sopesmut, suga - Freeform, sugaff, taekook, vkook, yoongiff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-04-04 10:59:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 37,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14018811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ro_97/pseuds/Ro_97
Summary: Yoongi chuckled and tilted his head at the confused man before him." Depression doesn't suit you. "He took a few steps and looked up deeply into hoseok's eyes, causing the younger to be taken aback from the close distance." So let me bring you back, sunshine. "





	1. Prologue - Come Back to Me

  
" we've been through this .. I can't give up the entire custody to you!! " the young lady yelled, drowning the man before her into a state of disbelief and madness. 

" you think I'd let you pour all this venom into my child ?! Look at yourself seung rin. People can smell your poisonous scent miles away. If you believe I will let my kid remain in your life after all those fucking chances I gave you then you must be ignorant as hell!! " the young man responded, reasoning out as much as he could for the sake of the child.

" Haneul suffered long enough with you, cried his eyes out begging for you to notice his existence. To feed his needs!! To show care and love like any normal mother!!! A mother seung rin, that's all he wishes for. Not a fucking drunk mess that not only ruins her own life but those around her as well!! But what did you do?.. you just stood around and watched him. You watched him as his sponge of a brain absorbed every action you took and every word you said till it sent him in a maze that he will forever be stuck in. You made him age up in mind but remain a child in appearance. You ruined our only pride." he added, shouting these words out with a shaky voice, tears in his eyes and shaking, thankful however that he had the courage to voice them out.

" you know nothing of my life. Nothing of the pain I had to deal with every day for the rest of my life. The decision I took years ago and still haunts me till this day.. " she voiced out with a soft tone, yet with a cold expression. 

" the day you chose to marry me. " he figured it out, pulling out a sad smile, almost unnoticeable. But the pain that struck him definitely is. 

" but I never asked you to say yes. I never asked you to have a child with me.. I never asked you to love me .. to stay with me." he lifted his face up, eyes red and puffed out as the tears streamed down his face. However, remained a strong posture.

" I gave you a choice. And what did you choose ?.. " 

She remained silent, gulped and tossed her head back to fight the tears. 

" what did you choose???!!!!! " he yelled impatiently, eyes widening as the anger wrapped him up. " you chose this life.. you chose me. Chose to love me, marry me. Have a child and a future with me. We agreed to remain strong .. to always find a way, to love each other when hope slowly dies. To never lose it all for the sake of Haneul but look at us now!! " 

" I didn't have a choi- " the man interrupted her as he threw a punch at the wall, startling the boy on the other side of the wall.

" you always had a choice but you were dumb enough to always choose wrong. The only thing that seemed right to you were these life distractions.. you forgot reality. The reality where you had a husband who loved you to death and a son that saw you as a goddess but none of that mattered to you did it. " the man coldly stated, not aware that his child was bursting in tears behind those walls. 

" had?.. w-what do you mean had what does that mean!!? " Seung Rin panicked, her eyes searching for an answer.

The man slid his ring off his finger and tossed it on the table beside him before he fixed his gaze towards her.

" means it's all over Seung Rin. You won't have to keep on regretting the choices you made in the past because.. I'll rewrite history. Starting now"

without any second thoughts, he left to grab whatever is left from this sickening place and save the last pieces from his heart. 

He went upstairs and hurriedly shoved most of his, and his son's belongings in the luggage, ignoring the constant protests and cries coming out of Seung Rin as if he shut down his senses.

Bumping into her shoulder, he left to find Haneul but his world soon came crashing down when he didn't see any sign of his child in his room.   
The parents panicked and went through every part of the house hoping and praying to find their child but it was no use. 

What they didn't know is that.. the 6th year old soon broke into a state of emptiness. His mind went blank and he unconsciously left the house. They couldn't hear his footsteps due to their loud voices shielding them.

Haneul's mind was different from every other child's .. he observed too much. He went deep through every detail of his thoughts. Something a child wouldn't do at such a young age. He questioned so many things. Things that adults questioned as well. His mind never matched his body.. he wasn't a child when it came to his inner self. 

His mind went chaotic as he walked emotionless along the cold dark streets of gwangju. Tossing and turning over the earlier happenings. It was too much for him and it slowly killed him inside .. it hurt him that he was born into such a harsh world. Haneul was always grateful to his father but he always found him a complete different person when he was around his mother.

It's like a complete shift from the bright sun to an intimidating darkness. And it intimidated him as well.. he always pondered over what reasons his mother couldn't learn to love him. Why she never tried, but at some points he believed that he was a mistake .. Yet his father always proved him wrong, which sent him into complete confusion once again.   
  
  


But he never has to worry about anything anymore.   
  


He never has to go through this pain ever again.   
  
  


Haneul.. is heavenly free.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~

" this is all on you Hoseok! " Seung rin shouted, feeling frustrated after having both of them looking around everywhere for Haneul for what seemed like an eternity. 

" cut the crap. You don't belong with us anymore, I'm starting over with hi- what are you looking at? " Hoseok's eyebrows crashed in confusion but soon followed her gaze towards a large crowd, surrounding something. 

The lights of the police car and the ambulance soon were visible to Hoseok as he slowly approached the crowd and pushed his way in. 

How he wished it was a nightmare 

Soon to be awake to embrace him in his arms. 

To remind him like he always did everyday, 

that it will be alright. 

That he'll always be there. 

He'll always be his guardian. 

But that promise shattered to pieces.   
Like the last pieces of his heart.   
  


Hoseok couldn't move, he felt as if his body got paralyzed. He held his breath and his vision got blurry after he witnessed.. Haneul.   
His son's corpse on the cold blooded street.   
Hoseok went into a complete state of denial when he saw the medics approaching with a white sheet.

He managed to convince his body to move towards them and snatch away the sheet, leaving the medics in confusion. 

" sir please hand the sheet back and back away. You're causing disturbance to the civilians. " the first medic stated, feeling uneasy. 

" why would you cover my son with that?.. he's okay he's just messing around with his daddy. " Hoseok went past the medics and dropped down to his knees, pulling Haneul onto his lap and embracing his blooded body tightly as he showered his head with soft kisses, stroking his child's small back. 

" stop this haneul-ah.. you got daddy. This is the best prank you've ever pulled so snap out of it now.. tell me how much of a idiot I am for almost buying this .. " the man pleaded with denial, still in belief that there's a soul inside his child. 

Everyone felt their hearts shatter at this scene. Some broke in tears, others left because it was too much for them to handle.

The medics respectfully stood aside, assuming Hoseok needed time with his son. 

 

" baby wake up.. if you wake up I'll take you anywhere you want yeah??.. I'll take you to that water park u always wanted to go to! ... "   
  
  


" Haneul ?.. "   
  
  


" H-haneul-ah "   
  
  


" please w-wake up "  
  


Hoseok couldn't take it anymore. Reality yanked him back and he broke down in tears. Shouting and screaming his son's name.   
Shaking his small blooded body and crying his eyes out, praying to god to give him a miracle. 

But it was no use. 

It was too late. 

" I'm sorry haneul-ah I'm so f-fucking sorry baby please just please wake up please tell me this is just a game please come back to me HANEUL!!!! " hoseok shouted his lungs out causing the medics to rush towards him and grip tightly on his arms, attempting to pull him away from his son. 

He struggled as much as he could but soon his muscles failed him.

Just like Haneul, Hoseok went into a state of emptiness. His mind went blank. He couldn't feel anything.. the world suddenly didn't exist around him.

The medics pushed Hoseok far enough as he dropped on the ground, his blurry vision prevented him from witnessing clearly the medics as they took the corpse of his child into the ambulance and drove away. 

The crowd soon surrounded the young man, asking him if he was alright. They knew he wasn't but they had to show worry and care.   
However Hoseok just stayed still, staring into nothingness. He couldn't hear anyone. He didn't want to hear anyone. He just knew that it's himself to blame.. for the rest of his life.   
  


Standing far away was Seung Rin. She wasn't able to witness anything but soon managed to figure it out as she observed Hoseok.

Seung rin fought her tears back and turned around. A few words crossing her mind.

_I'll re-write history._

" so will i.. "

" it's all on me .. " the young lady slid off the ring off her finger and gently placed it on the ground. Her hands started to shake as tears streamed down her face.

She dropped on her knees, her forehead on the cold concrete ground as she cried her eyes out, pain clenching her heart.

" I'm sorry.. Haneul-ah.. I'm sorry baby.. " 

Hoseok's emotionless self managed to turn around, the crowd got the hint and parted away,

but he saw  **nothing.**

He saw **no one.**

Yet he knew deep down that he wasn't the only one who'll be haunted by this day forever.


	2. Drown me in Oblivion

  
" hyung?.. "

" earth to hyung "

Hoseok didn't realize he was deep in his thoughts, the events of last year still haunting him till today. A lot had changed in that year.. Hoseok's pain still takes control of him, suffocating him whenever a chance of happiness appears. He'd constantly have dreams of his son. Well.. nightmares mostly. Harshly waking him up to toss him into a state of fear.

But that never stopped him from keeping his one last promise to him, the promise he made as he watched his loved ones bury his son deep into the ground.

He promised to never let a day pass him by without visiting Haneul, without updating him of every day his father spent in his life. Despite Hoseok knowing that haneul might've already seen it all from above, he did it anyway to keep his sanity secure.   
However the updates weren't the only words that came out of him.. Hoseok would always end his speech with a sincere apology, begging for forgiveness from a dead corpse.. still in belief that it's his fault, his guilt to live with till the end.

What Hoseok realized is that his state affected others around him badly. His family felt worried sick.. specially his older sister. They would always check up on him whenever they had time, go far and beyond just to bring back their "Sunshine"; however, the sun never returned ever since that sunset.

And society sucked indeed when most of his friends gave up on him after the constant attempts to heal the redhead. Hoseok felt more panicked than back-stabbed when he realized that this might happen with his family. That they would leave him without short notice to drown in his own sorrow.. but no matter how much it hurt him to make this choice, he took a deep breath and walked down that path.

He chose to push them away, not to fully break contact with them however. He barely spent time with his loved ones, perhaps he never wanted to pull them into his misery; thus, he chose to keep it to himself.

They all eventually got the hint and chose to support Hoseok no matter how wrong it seemed for him to walk that path, but as long as he still existed, that's all that mattered to them.

Hoseok craved for happiness, craved for a taste of it but every time his mind flashes a picture of his son, he'd laugh bitterly. Almost as if he knew that it would happen, which would once again, yank him a few steps back from his happiness, from his old self.

A loud bang suddenly pulled Hoseok back to reality, a startle would be a lie to describe the redhead's reaction. The young man almost had a heart attack. As he gathered himself together he looked up and his eyes met a box shaped smile and squinted eyes. His smile was contagious; therefore, Hoseok couldn't hold back a smile himself.

" welcome back hyung " the grey haired guy chuckled, earning a sarcastic laugh from the older.

" how long was I out there .. " Hoseok embarrassingly asked, guilt crushing him down for zoning out with his friend's presence almost every time.

" ah don't worry about it, somehow I knew you'd zone out so this time I stayed silent.. nothing to feel guilty about " he smiled once again, assuring the older.

" as if that makes me feel any better " Hoseok chuckled silently and chugged down his coffee cup, an expression of disgust quickly appearing on his face, causing the younger to spit his coffee from the sudden burst of laughter.

" cold huh?.. serves you well for zoning out " the younger chuckled but soon enough earned a flick on the forehead from the older.

" this is called karma, nice huh kim taehyung? " Hoseok chuckled slightly and sighed, leaning back against the back of the chair.

" the other day I was scrolling through some pictures of ... Haneul-ah " the older stopped, feeling his eyes slowly welling up with tears.

" hyung .. let's not- " 

" ahh don't worry, I just wanted to show you a few pictures and videos Haneul-ah recorded.. some of them were new to me I think he recorded them in secret " the redhead interrupted the younger, forcing a smile on his face before he pulled out his phone and scrolled through the photos, stopping at an old picture that shattered his heart.

He had the courage however to show it to Taehyung.

" I TOOK THAT PICTURE "

The entire coffee shop suddenly got quiet as Taehyung's loudness echoed through it, causing the older to sigh and slightly bow apologetically to those around them.

" I'm sorry but I completely remember this moment ! I remember him giggling whenever you drew a heart on that paper.. It was so precious I had to capture it " Taehyung cupped his cheeks and looked lovingly at the picture.

" which caused him to cry. Can't believe you forgot to turn the flash off.. you almost blinded my son " the older glared at Taehyung as he smiled sheepishly and snatched away the phone, swiping to the next picture.

Hoseok pinched the bridge of his nose as the younger's squeal filled up the air once again, earning a few glares from the customers. Hoseok managed a laugh when the younger heard someone shushing him and turned around, almost knocking the table down just to shush her back.

" you're unbelievable.. " Hoseok rotated his phone and observed the picture, smiling widely at the beautiful view but his smile slowly fades away which earned the younger's attention. He quickly tried to lift the mood up.

" I think you mean.. unbeliebubble"

The older laughed out loud and cupped his face in frustration

" yeah I've been hanging out with Jin hyung a lot lately.. "

Hoseok shook his head and went back to the picture when Taehyung suddenly spoke. 

" I remember that as well, ugh he kept his mouth open for so long .. that fly went deep down his throat he cried for hours .. "

Hoseok managed a laugh as he recalled the memory " I had to convince him for hours that it Was OKAY. He even apologized for always misbehaving thinking that it was the end of him " Hoseok shook his head and laughed some more, what he didn't notice is that Taehyung was observing him with hope, some hope that the sun will rise again, but they both knew it was easier said than done.

Taehyung swiped the screen once more and his mouth formed an O when he realized it was a recording.

  
" ah.. your last birthday! " the younger smiled widely as he recalled the good times he had back then.

" mhm .. He recorded that. " hoseok chuckled and stared lovingly at the recording.

Taehyung noticed the sorrow in his eyes so he quickly swiped the screen once more, suddenly bursting out in laughter.

  
" remember when I said he recorded secretly?.. well there u have it ugh that rotten kid.. " the redhead pinched the bridge of his nose but soon chuckled after watching the video again.

" this is gold I'm stealing this from you soon. " the grey haired man wiggled his eyebrows and smirked as the older rolled his eyes and swiped the screen once again.

" I find it heart warming how he was always there to support you when you taught others.. everyone at the studio found him adorable when he recorded you, mostly feeling warm over his reactions.. how he would smile widely and observe you through the screen with awe whenever you moved, His fondness, how he looked so damn proud. You were like a god to him. You.. you had a precious son hyung, and I'm more than positive that he's still observing you with the same emotions. Same reactions. " Taehyung spoke out, his watery eyes and slight smile showing his sincerity as Hoseok stared back at the younger and patted his shoulder, mirroring his same emotions.

He felt lucky that the younger was the one who mirrored his stubbornness and stood by him, always ignoring his protests. He loved Hoseok and Haneul so much, they were practically his second family. He promised himself to never give up on his hyung, till the end of time.

Hoseok looked back at the screen and swiped it one more time, smiling to himself.

" I know Taehyung-ah. I know."   
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: yoongi's appearance will be in the next chapter but i wanted to clear out some things.

Hoseok and Seung rin were at the age of 18 when they had Haneul. Hoseok's current age is 23. So is everyone's tbh, Taetae 22 and Yoongi 24.

I know most readers are silent but I'd appreciate the feedback 💖 i hope you like this chapter.


	3. My Biggest Sin

  
" and that's what your favorite idiot of an uncle did today. "

Hoseok chuckled to himself as he recalled his hangout with Taehyung. He smiled softly as he remembered his words he said about Haneul, yet his smile slowly faded away as he realized that it's time for the painful moment. The painful words he always ends his speech with. The redhead wished that someday he'd be able to forgive himself, for that heavy suffocating weight to get lifted off his shoulders. He wished he could find a sign of forgiveness but from whom?.. a soulless body deep down in the ground ?..

It wouldn't be a complete exaggeration if he had cried an ocean for Haneul. After all a day never passes by without him shedding tears over his child.

Fighting back the tears, Hoseok took a few deep breaths before he began to speak.

" you're probably sick of hearing those same words over and over again.. I'm sorry kiddo, bear it with me hm?.." the redhead slightly laughed yet he felt a lump in his throat as those words slipped out of his mouth.

" I'm sorry Haneul. "   
" I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. I'm sorry for not knowing you've been so deep in your mind, your thoughts, your own world instead of living a normal childhood. I'm sorry for not realizing how deeply you were drowning in pain and I'm sorry you felt the need to keep it hidden from us " by this time the redhead was choking on his tears as he begged himself to keep going.

" I'm sorry you couldn't live..  
I'm sorry you couldn't live to grow up   
To enjoy your childhood,   
To meet new people,  new friends you could cherish and trust for the rest of your life at its highs and lows  
To become a teenager and a pain in my ass   
To fall in love and tell me all about it.. so I'd end up having a migraine, but it all would be worth it..  
To graduate and beg me to let you move out, I know that because you're a rotten kid.   
But we both know I'd never turn you down huh?..   
You would've graduated..  gotten a job and got married ..   
have kids you'd raise better than I did..   
you would've held hands with your old man on his death bed.. this is how we should've bid our goodbyes..

All of this could've happened,

If it wasn't for me.

No matter how much I'd repeat this over and over I'd still feel this fucking pain clenching my heart.. slowing sucking my sanity away and drowning me in the guilt I'd never escape from !!.. But god I'm sorry.

I'm sorry haneul-ah

I'm sorry for not being a perfect father for you..

It's my biggest sin. "  
  


Hoseok spoke his heart out, his tears became his best companions till the sun dipped behind the horizon as the daylight still lingered in the air. accidentally left behind. Along with his energy.

Little did the redhead know was, not so far away, a man stood leaning against a tree. He heaved a sigh and looked down at his feet, having heard every word Hoseok shouted out, observed with sorrowful eyes every action he made. His heart broke at the sight of him, wishing to lend him some strength every time he saw him, but all that came out from him was a slight smile as he watched Hoseok slowly disappearing out of his sight.

" the sun will rise, and we will try again. "

~~~~~~~~~~

As Hoseok was on his way home, his eyes suddenly landed on an familiar sight. A familiar figure.

The sound of the child's laughter echoed in his ears as he observed the happy child swinging back and forth before he stopped to burst in laughter at the sight of what is assumed to be his father.

The man on the swing was twisting it, having it twirl around fast after he released it. Hoseok managed a small laugh as he saw the man in struggle to get off the swing, over acting the dizziness and eventually landing on his ass. 

The child held on to his stomach as he laughed hard at his father, suddenly jumping on top of him, earning a groan from the blond man.

Soon enough he sat up and held his child tightly in his arms, embracing him with every ounce of love he had.

Hoseok's heart warmed up at the sight of them, yet slowly ached as he recalled the time when Haneul desired to come to this playground but Hoseok couldn't due to the over work piling up at the hospital.

His heart crushed inside. Tears forming in his eyes, how he wished those two were him and Haneul. He clenched his fists and tossed his head back, fighting over the tears.. and the envy.

A sound however, breaks him into silence. He slowly looked ahead and locked eyes with curious ones.

Hoseok's eyebrows crashed in confusion as he watched the child excitedly pointing out at him while he tugged on his father's sleeve, grabbing his attention as well towards the redhead.

The man stood up and took the child's hand in his, slowly making their way towards him.

Hoseok panicked for a second, assuming that the man might've thought of him as a creep.

Without wasting a second, the redhead bowed deeply, cursing himself in his mind as he realized he stared too much at them.

To his surprise, the man rested both of his hands on his shoulders and straightened him up, Hoseok's eyes slightly widened, his mouth was slightly open as he felt mesmerized by the pale man as he smiled at him.

a warm smile, the smile that could warm your heart up as well.

Hoseok couldn't help but let a blush creep up his cheeks. He quickly bowed slightly and introduced himself to the amused man in front of him.

" Jung Hoseok.. I'm sorry I didn't realize I was staring for so long. It's just a pleasant view " Hoseok forced a smile, inside burning with embarrassment.

" Don't sweat it, it wasn't a crime " the older chuckled and slightly bowed. " Min Yoongi. And this fellow right here is Min Haneul.. greet the man Haneul-ah don't be rude " Yoongi ruffled his son's hair and laughed as his son struggled to get his father's huge hand off his head.

Hoseok's heart ached inside as the name crossed his mind.

Yet he froze in his place as he observed the boy well while he greeted him.

He was, truly familiar.

As if he had seen him before. Not once, not twice, but countless of times yet his memory couldn't assist him to solve this puzzle.

Assuming it;s only his mind playing tricks on him, he decided to toss it aside and knelt down to ruffle his hair. The boy smiled widely and bowed before he sprinted behind his father's leg and tugged on his pants, which Hoseok found it adorable yet.. familiar as well.

The boy definitely had most of his father's features, he was completely adorable to the redhead.

A part of Hoseok urged him to embrace this child in his arms but he couldn't pull out a reason. The constant thought of the familiarity earned Hoseok an intense migraine.

The older noticed him rubbing his temple thus he worriedly checked up on the redhead.

" ahh I'm alright .. Just a headache, but thank you " Hoseok managed a small smile towards the older.

Yoongi somehow felt the sorrow in the younger for he observed his child with a sad smile and a soft gaze.

For a vague reason the older desired to uncover the story in his eyes. He felt somehow connected to the redhead, not by blood but by emotions.

" would you like to stick around for some time with me and Haneul-ah? We could use another playmate and I'm pretty sure he's bored of my old ass." Yoongi chuckled as he received a mini punch from Haneul.

" language daddy. " the child narrowed his eyes at his father as Yoongi ruffled his hair and sent a wink at Hoseok, causing the younger laugh at this amusing scene.

" Well raised kid.. " The redhead stated as Yoongi responded with a warm smile.

" I did my best actually, thank you .. now what do you say? " the older glanced up at Hoseok, his eyes were full of hope.

Yoongi couldn't hold back his gummy smile as he saw the younger nodding, but it couldn't be more comparable to the child's reaction. He dragged Hoseok to the playground, leaving the blond man behind.

The older chuckled slightly at the sight of Hoseok bending down while Haneul whispered something to him, causing the redhead to chuckle himself and nod.

Haneul sprinted away as Hoseok faced the other way, his hands cupping his face as he started counting. 

Yoongi's heart ached inside but he managed a warm smile at the sight of them. He drowned his hands into his pockets and heaved a sigh.

" the sun will rise.. and we'll try again. "

~~~~~~~~

" Noooooooooo. "

" ugh it's way past your bedtime! Come on haneul-ah. " Yoongi felt frustrated, having him begging his stubborn child to leave Hoseok's leg for over an hour.

" Goodbye hyung.. play with us soon?" The child looked up at Hoseok with big pleading eyes.

Hoseok hesitated yet he completely melted with a simple pout from the child, resulting in him nodding.

" rotten kid.. " the older complained as his son stuck his tongue out at him.

" hey that's what i used to say to my so- " the redhead suddenly stopped, a flash image of his son popping in his head.

Yoongi knew however.

He knew the pain he was going through.

He knew the thoughts that were crashing together in his mind at this moment. 

The older lifted Hoseok's chin up, chuckled and tilted his head at the confused man before him.

" depression doesn't suit you. "

He took a few steps closer and looked up deeply into Hoseok's eyes, causing the younger to be taken aback from the close distance.

" so let me bring you back, sunshine. " 

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: sorry for being late, health isn't on my side these days. Therefore I apologize in advance for this crappy chapter


	4. Hope for Hope

  
  
" let me bring you back sunshine?.." 

" yup.. "

" I don't know hyung, this dude sounds flirtatious. " the younger responded, obviously amused with the whole story, his expression mirroring the amusement.

" please don't. " Hoseok slightly laughed and shook his head. " besides, it's only a playdate and I barely even know the guy. Even the number exchange was awkward.. Let's not forget to add that I'm in no state to even consider having a love life. " the redhead reasoned, earning a snort from the younger.

" I didn't ask you to jump on his dick. He seems like a cool guy from what I've heard from you so far. get to know him, you could use a new friend and  .. a distraction. " Taehyung carefully spoke out, his eyes facing anywhere but the older's.

" A distraction from my son you mean "

" I assumed you'd say that.. hyung I'm not asking you to forget about Haneul, that would be impossible not to mention wrong, but every time someone mentions him all you mostly recall is that accident. It's unfair .. both to you and Haneul-ah. Do you truly believe that he'd feel joyous whenever he sees you in that condition? do you think he's proud? relieved that his father is in complete misery whenever his son pops up in his mind?

you know it all, you're my best friend and I'll never give up on you, but I need you to help me out.. We weren't granted these souls for us to torture. Give yourself a chance to heal, put Haneul-ah out of his misery. Haneul's been suffering for as long as we can remember.. It's time to put an end to it. "

Hoseok remained speechless as he let the younger's words sink in. It did made sense to him, every word did; however, when it came to Haneul, nothing was easy. The nightmares weren't easy, the accident wasn't easy. Seung rin wasn't easy.

Yet he felt guilty that his friend never gave up on him, he felt that he was sucking taehyung's energy day by day with his actions and stubbornness. He felt grateful and touched with how much the younger genuinely cared for him; thus, gave himself a chance. He knew that nothing much will change, that he'll always find himself to blame over it all.

how could he put his son out of his misery if he couldn't escape his own? but he had to try, he had to create his own way at the end of the road.

Nodding in defeat, the redhead forced a smile and that's all it took for Taehyung to flash his contagious box smile.

Taehyung knew however that Hoseok half meant it. He knew it might take him a lifetime to heal him but he was glad the redhead was determined to give it a chance.

" I know it's easier said than done but.. I'm proud of you nonetheless and that will never change " the grey haired man stated with fondness, causing the older to playfully give him a headlock.

" always a touchy feely boy " Hoseok heaved a sigh and laid back on the couch as the younger raised an eyebrow, his curiosity got the best of him as he suddenly spoke his thoughts out.

" nervous? "

the redhead chuckled and shook his head " no not at all but.. There's something troubling me.   
  
  
  


It's that kid. "

Taehyung crashed his eyebrows in confusion and gestured for the older to carry on.

" I know I might sound delusional or insane but he's familiar. "

" well.. I think you might've seen him before ?.. It's normal hyung. " Taehyung reasoned but his confusion remained as the older shook his head

" no it's not like that.. I felt this bond with him and I know it's weird i jus- .. just let it be I must be delusional. My mind still loves to play tricks on me. " Hoseok sighed and stood up from the couch.

" wait where you going? " the younger stood up and blocked the older's way.

" got a play-date to attend to remember? Besides you're right. I could use a distraction I guess.. " the redhead was about to pass Taehyung by but he was blocked by him once again.

" looking like that? " Taehyung frowned, pointing at the redhead from head to toe.

" what? Not all of us have to be all in Gucci like you, keep in mind that we're only heading to a park " Hoseok laughed which earned him a glare from Gucci boy.

" there's nothing wrong with that at least I'm a better dresser " The older acted in shock at this sudden statement but slowly nodded in agreement.

" AHA. Thank you, and I know it's only a park but you gotta make a good first impression. " the younger wiggled his eyebrows and smiled widely.

" It's.. our second meeting "

" fine, then you gotta make a good second impression. " Hoseok chuckled and gave the younger the permission to work on him.

" just don't dress me fancy please? " the older pleaded as he got dragged to his room and tossed on his bed. He cussed under his breath and sat straight as he watched Taehyung rummaging through his closet.

After what seemed like eternity to Hoseok, they both agreed on a black turtleneck sweater under a blue jean jacket, faded grey jeans and black vans.

" see ? you actually look decent, thanks to Gucci boy. " Taehyung nodded to himself in agreement as the older rolled his eyes and smiled. He looked in the mirror and ruffled his hair, trying his best to hide a grin.

" I feel like a teenager getting sent to a date. "

" Maybe it is a date " the grey haired man held his hands up in defense as Hoseok shot him a death glare, he heaved a sigh and headed out, leaving an amused Taehyung behind.

" should I.. or should I not." The younger flashed a mischievous smile as he grabbed his jacket and headed out.

~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  


_Am I too early?.._   
_what exactly am I excited for?.._   
_or rather whom.._   
_perhaps it's the child that stole my curiosity?_   
_or the man that occupied my thoughts._

Hoseok's thoughts crashed together as he waited patiently on the bench. The redhead could feel the cold wind blow against him, picking up the golden orange leaves from the ground; the golden and red colors fly about like a fire, but even with the wind and the rain, Hoseok believed there is a distinct beauty about autumn as the colors and the smells join to make a picturesque scene.

his sudden thoughts are interrupted as he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, he quickly picked it up and unlocked it, a blush sneaking up his cheeks as his eyes landed on words of a perfect stranger.

  
Hoseok immediately looked to his right and saw the two he desired to see. He quickly got up and they all met half way. The redhead slightly bowed before he ruffled the child's hair.

" ahh let's not be so formal now, we're getting to know each other no? " the older flashed his gummy smile which Hoseok couldn't take his eyes off.

His eyes suddenly widened as Haneul jumped on Hoseok's leg and clung on it

" MIN HANEUL. "

The redhead laughed as he knelt down, squishing the child's cheeks. He glanced up at Yoongi, flashing him his ethereal smile. " it's alright really, he seems pretty energetic which I assume pretty sociable as well? besides, you agreed not to be formal so it's best for us to get.. comfortable. " 

" dad.. You're all red are you okay? " the child innocently wondered however Hoseok knew it was his cause; therefore, desired to continue the tease.

 

he stood up and pressed his palm against the older's forehead " oh?.. you're right Haneul-ah. I guess he's  **heated up."** by the time Hoseok pulled his hand away Yoongi's face was indeed burning red.

the older cleared his throat and faced away at the swings to escape the younger's amused look. " Okay Haneul you can play but don't go too far, need you within my sight okay? " 

" okay dad but.. Can hyung join me? " Haneul glanced up at Hoseok with doe eyes which caused the redhead to melt once again. He ruffled his hair and assured him to join soon.

As Haneul rushed towards the swings, Hoseok and Yoongi took a slow walk around him, glancing every once in a while to check up on the child.

it was awkward at first, mostly due to the tease Hoseok pulled on the older, but later on they both grew comfortable with each other, learned so much about one another, excluding their deepest secrets.

Hoseok learned that yoongi is a year older than him, a simple yet a determined person. He loved photography because he believed that beautiful sights, beautiful moments deserve to be captured and remain in memory to recall at bad times.

Other than knowing about his hometown, getting well paid as a piano instructor, his family and the fact that the older is fond of his own legs, Hoseok learned that yoongi's dream is to become a professional scenery photographer. He desired to achieve this dream other than becoming a music producer due to the fear of not being able to pull that through; therefore, he stuck to an easier dream to accomplish.

The younger chuckled as the pale man stated his interests, how he worshiped sleep like a god, but hoseok figured it might've been due to overwork or perhaps he really just does worship sleep. Yoongi bragged playfully about being a pro at basketball which Hoseok found sketchy since he was short, that however was spoken out loud and earned the redhead a mini punch.

He felt fond of the older when he mentioned his love for music, his eyes grew brighter whenever the subject was mentioned, which mirrored the younger's reaction when Yoongi suddenly started to rap.

The redhead felt completely mesmerized and amazed by Yoongi's personality, his interests and who he was. In fact, he felt completely small next to him. All Hoseok had shared with yoongi are basic things.. his age, his job as a pediatric and his passion about dancing. He felt that the older wasn't impressed enough since he just blathered them out without that passion bursting out such as Yoongi's,  but he let it slide as they resumed the conversation.

He didn't knew however that Yoongi felt the same way.

~~~~~~~

" no way.. That CAN'T be the reason " Hoseok couldn't help but laugh at the older's answer.

" it makes sense though, pale skin plus sweet smile plus sweet.... You know, equals Suga " Yoongi reasoned, earning a defeated nod from the younger.

Hoseok shoved his hands in his pockets as he hesitated to ask Yoongi, but he allowed curiosity to win against him " not to get in deep into your personal life but- "

" the mother? .. " Yoongi suddenly stopped and faced the redhead as he nodded to his answer, he felt regretful as he heard Yoongi's sigh and was about to prevent the older from going on any furthe; however, the pale man spoke.

" Not that I only found out she was cheating on me but.. She got knocked up from the guy as well. I had to take Haneul away from this nonsense. Lucky for me, he was only a baby. "

Hoseok stared with sorrowful eyes at the older as Yoongi mirrored his stare towards the child. He surely felt sorry for bringing up such a horrible memory to Yoongi.

" I'm .. sorry about that.. But you did good. You actually saved him.. " Yoongi glanced back at hoseok and smiled softly, he felt something triggering his emotions as he saw the younger's bright smile. He felt warmth that he felt with someone before. Yoongi was a bit close to the redhead, his scent caused the older's heartbeat to race.

Yoongi understood why would anyone fall for the man before him.

but he had to stop.

he had to cloud his emotions.

it all would be after all, a sin.

~~~~~~~~~

The day finally came to an end. Hoseok could say he had a blast for the first time after that accident, he enjoyed playing with Haneul and having small talks with Yoongi. It didn't matter how ridiculous they were, it gave him a distraction from his depressed mind and that's all that mattered. For the first time in Hoseok's life, all what he recalled this day are nothing more but the happiest moments he spent with his son.

" Honestly.. thank you for today. You have no idea how much it saved me." the redhead shyly rubbed the back of his neck after handing him a sleepy Haneul.

" told you I'd bring you back " the older smiled softly as he stroke his son's back.

" about that.. What do you mean exactly? " Hoseok glanced at Yoongi, his eyebrows meeting in confusion.  
  
  
  


"  You know what they say.. Three things you can't hide, the sun, the moon, and the truth.  "

~~~~~~~~

A/N: Sorry for the late chap, made it longer to make it up for you all, hope you like it.


	5. Grant Me a Desire

  
  
  
  
" Seriously "

" What? "

" He basically pushed us back into the hole we escaped of "

" What even- "

" I mean it's OBVIOUS you're slowly getting lured like a prey till hunter here takes the shot and I can't belie-"  
  


" I'll burn all your Gucci shit say something else "

Indeed Hoseok knew how to silence the younger. In his arrogant triumph, he smirked. Just a small pouting of the lips; a narrowing of the eyes and a tilting of the head. It was so subtle, it was even more infuriating for the grey haired man who caught a glimpse of it after making the foolish mistake.

" Thought so. Now enough about this.. Where were you last night anyway? you weren't around when I came back home " Hoseok narrowed his eyes at the younger, mostly questioning his sudden change in behavior.

"Needed some stuff "The grey haired man answered nonchalantly.

Taehyung was acting busy as he stuffed his mouth with food, avoiding eye contact with the older, but that didn't stop the sweat from forming all over the younger's face as Hoseok approached him closer and closer, bending across the kitchen counter. His hot breath tickled his ear as he whispered

" Gucc- "

" OKAY FINE "

Hoseok couldn't help let out a snort at the younger's frustration.

" You turd..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"YOU TURD. " the older scowled at Taehyung but that didn't stop him from smiling sheepishly at the redhead.

" You can't blame me for not wanting you to fuck up " Taehyung reasoned but it seemed beyond reason to the older

" By spying on us?? " The younger just shrugged and flashed his wide box smile knowing that it's one of the redhead's weaknesses. Hoseok heaved a deep sigh and plopped down on the couch, rubbing his temples till a sound startled him.

He reached out for his phone, a smile plastered on his face unconsciously as he read the messages, which the younger had instantly caught his attention.

The redhead never realized that a few words on a screen would bring joy to both his heart. He was still vague over the reason why, why would a person he recently met bring up this side of him, the side he thought it died ever since that day.   
  


  
He wouldn't deny his nervousness whenever the blonde contacted him nor the emotion trigger but he was glad Yoongi was a distraction from all the misery Hoseok goes through; therefore, decided to not risk the bond, but is a distraction all he desired from Yoongi?

His thoughts came to an end as the younger snatched the phone away, his amusement covered up his face as he read the texts, while struggle covered up Hoseok's.

" Caring too i see, the perfect catch don't you think? " Tae couldn't help but smirk at the older as his blush seared through his cheeks and for a minute he thought his face was on fire. He suddenly felt awkward, demure, and coy; even going as far as attempting to hide his rosy features behind his delicate fingers.

" E-enough about that Taehyung, hand it back now would you? " 

"Hmmm.. In a sec." the look on the younger's face sent Hoseok shivers down his spine, he knew he was up to something, and something bad.

And the redhead was spot on as he saw the younger rushing towards the bathroom, locking it behind him as Hoseok desperately banged on the door while the younger worked his fingers.  
  
  


  
The grey haired man chuckled to himself, dismissing the fact that it could be his last day of existence; however, the younger thought that it had to be done. He didn't expect however what came up next.  
  


Sure is common these days to have a devil as a friend and to Hoseok, that devil was named Kim Taehyung.

As the younger suddenly barged outside, he carelessly gave the phone to the older and tossed himself on the couch, his smirk once again indicating that shit is about to go down.

And shit went down indeed.

"YOU MOTHER FU-" Hoseok couldn't finish up his words as his screen suddenly notified him of an upcoming Facetime call and panic was all that was written all over the redhead's face.   
  


" I look like shit how am i supposed to answer him?! "

" Well.. there's that green button on the screen- "

" KIM TAEHYUNG "

" OKAY. but why are you even worrying about this?.. There's nothing going on between you two right?.. " 

" N-no! wait.. you're right.. why am i even worried. " Hoseok knew he was somehow lying to himself, and so did the younger but that did not stop the redhead's heartbeat from racing, his sweat from forming and for a lump to get stuck down his throat.

With shaky hands, Hoseok tapped on the screen to answer the call.

He was most certainly glad he did because the moment his eyes landed on a beautiful blonde, all his worries, his nervousness, and his fears faded away. 

" there's my sunshine. "

Clear as a sky, anyone could've seen it. The way they observed one another, gazing across every inch of features, admiring them as if they were carved by angels. It's almost as if they neglected the world around them. Neglected the time rushing through for an end, the heaviness in their hearts, the thoughts and the harshness of their lives, tossing it all away just to put their minds to an ease.

However not their hearts. There was no escape this time and it was inevitable not to cloud what their hearts screamed out.

Hoseok gazed at the blonde freely. To him, Yoongi was absolutely stunning yet that wasn't the reason why he stood out from the rest. There's something about the older, a slight confidence and inflated ego, that had Hoseok muddling his words and blushing uncontrollably whenever he's around. He sees Hoseok through the screen and smiles, slowly and uncontrollably, making his way to his heart.   

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" I can't breathe "

" So I had to do something because she just wouldn't shut the hell up.. I pulled out my phone, wore my sunglasses and took a picture of her while the flash was on. Like that neuralyzer scene."

" .. GENIUS "

"Yeah but I got smacked so hard it knocked my glasses off.." Yoongi couldn't help but laugh along with the younger as he held on to his stomach. He wouldn't deny feeling embarrassed about sharing this story with the younger, but the blonde was glad he did. There was something about the redhead's laugh that was just contagious and filled with joy, filled with hope and warmth and that was like a drug to Yoongi.

The older laughed, his deep chuckle lifting the spirit of the atmosphere. His face had a softness even when it showed tiredness, as if he lacked the inner bitterness of the deep thoughts that gathered in his mind. The older knew who he was and he felt comfortable with himself. He's perhaps the only man Hoseok ever knew that could look in a mirror of truth and only see his own reflection.

" Okay but, I still can't believe that was your friend .. " Yoongi shook his head and chuckled slightly as the redhead nodded and heaved a deep sigh in response.

" Yup that's Taehyung.. I hope it wasn't uncomfortable though " The blonde shook his head and smiled softly at the redhead, assuring him.

" Okay good. I- wait.. am I hallucinating is it really 8 PM? " Yoongi's expression matched the younger's as they both glanced several times at the time, suddenly breaking into a burst of laughter, sounds that satisfied both of them.

" I guess I should hang up then. It was though a satisfying thing to do, Thank your friend for me will you? "

The redhead shyly nodded and smiled through the screen, his heart sank however that this happiness could end at any second.

But he had a choice, he could either choose to follow his mind, or follow his heart.

He wanted a distraction, he craved for a friend, or a shoulder to cry on perhaps, but his heart wanted more. It scared him very often.. The way it desired and craved Love almost as the craving of lust to some people; moreover,  he had no control over it.. When he lets his heart loose it's game over. He falls fast and falls hard.. Loves with all his might till it either heals him or breaks him.

He fell in love with how the older managed to pull him out of his depressed mind, away from his fears, passing by the pain so carelessly and towards another world.

A world he once thought he lost.

But his mind desired to stop him, He was afraid of so many things. He feared losing someone that could be the missing puzzle in him. His other half, his soulmate perhaps, but can he let his heart loose this time and so quickly? Hoseok couldn't deny the attraction but does he know what the other hides in his heart and mind? Is he sure that the other would accept him that way? And does he even wish to rush his feelings so fast?.. He had no clue. His mind and his heart battled for what seems like eternity within him, pushing him towards the edge of the cliff.

Till courage stepped in.   
And washed through him like a perfect surfer's wave.

" Grant me a desire.. "

The older smiled softly at the redhead, nodding as a response. Anxious over his sudden change in expression yet excitement and curiosity quickly washed that through.  
  
  


" Can you come over?.. "  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" I can see it hyung. " 

" See what? what do you mean?.. "

" The truth. "

"Taehyung-ah.."

"I guess I need to thank the attraction for that huh?.." 

The older fixated his gaze onto his black mirror, staring back at his reflection.

"Attraction.. it's like a magnet. It's that thought inside your head that says There's something about this... You gravitate towards this extraordinary thing that has captured your attention, and the more you're exposed to it, the more you learn about it. It may bloom into something more, or you'll just lose interest and go find something else to be attracted to." 

"Is he your extraordinary thing?.." 

Hoseok's head shot up at the sudden sound of the bell ringing, his eyes landed on the door, eyes as bright as the sun.

He smiled softly and that's when the younger realized he confirmed the answer in his mind.  
  
  
  


"He sure is."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yup i fucked up. Mic is off in those facetime edits i made..  I won't change them now however i'll re edit once this story is over, meanwhile i hope you enjoy this chapter i tried my best on this one.

P.S  
for those who did not understand what Yoongi went through:

PM if you need the edits.  
Ty and please be active ❤


	6. Closer to You

" He sure is.. "

" Childish? "

" Was gonna say hilarious the dude seems fun to hang with "

" I mean.. Taehyung is- " The redhead paused for a second, glancing at the younger as he attempted to entertain a frightened child.

" Gucci Guccii Gooo~ "

" Nope. " Hoseok heaved a deep sigh as the blonde burst out in laughter, amused by the relationship between the two.

" Would you leave the kid and hang with someone closer to your age? " the redhead frustratingly fired at the younger.

" And drown in dullness ? thank you but no thank you " Taehyung fired back, earning a disbelieved expression from the redhead that he took no interest of. The grey haired man soon returned his attention back at the child who has been for the past hour sending pleading looks towards the blonde; However, his clear amusement prevented him from taking any action.. And perhaps a beautiful redhead seated right next to him.

" So..I remember you told me you loved to dance correct?.." the blonde grabbed the younger's attention back on him as he nodded in response and smiled widely. The older noticed how Hoseok's eyes lit up the moment he mentioned it, realizing that this is as equal as his passion towards music.

" Being a pediatric is great and all but I would love to someday open up my own dance studio and pass on my skills. " the younger stated, his eyes fixated on his lap as he awkwardly fumbled with the edge of his shirt, his mouth forming a straight line which the older found adorable since his dimples were evident.

" What's stopping you though?.." Yoongi shifted his weight to the side, facing the redhead and granting him his full attention.

" I don't know .. time? Motivation? Plus I already have a safe job that I.. Can't quit. " the redhead glanced at Yoongi and forced a smile.

Many thoughts went through the older's mind.

Why couldn't he quit? Other than it's being a safe job he had a theory of his own yet he didn't plan to trigger Hoseok's emotions. He wished he could've laid it all out to the redhead and for the younger to copy that decision, but they both knew that it wasn't the time for them to pour their secrets out.

" Listen Hoseok-ah.. It's okay not to overthink things through at certain times. To not give it second thoughts nor hesitation and just let courage take full control. Trust me on this one.. I'd rather trust myself and regret than doubt and regret. So do it, it's never pleasant to live without a dream you wished to switch it to a reality. You can't quit that job I understand but you can't break the bond with the things you love as well.. Time ? It's never an enemy if you learn how to manage it. Motivation? I'll fulfill that job. Haneul will too and all these people who sincerely love you. Even that Idiot right there "

" I heard that " Taehyung shot a death glare at Yoongi but only received a snort from the blonde.

Yoongi took a glance at the redhead. He noticed the eyes of the younger slowly welling up with tears as he slowly nodded as a response. Perhaps a hopeful gesture from a soon to be a hopeful person, yet he saw the evident sorrow in the younger's eyes; thus, what could be more helpful than actions?.. He slowly came closer and stroke Hoseok's back, inevitably examining his features. His beautiful brown eyes, heart shaped lips, his beautiful structured long face, the high cheekbones and the perfectly shaped sharp jaw captivated the blonde. He found his lip mole the most adorable thing ever.. Jung Hoseok overall was the most adorable human being to Yoongi.

Staring isn't quite the word for what Yoongi does, though he'd fit the dictionary definition to a tee. His eyes rest, not unblinking but slowed; yet the effect is soft and inviting instead of harsh. The younger mirrored his action, eyes staring deep into the ones of his savior. Hoseok couldn't help but get lost in his brown eyes that shone brightly, So big and beautiful, so much emotion held inside. They smiled constantly, those doe eyes. he could never understand the beauty he is made of Hoseok thought, because he doesn't see himself as the redhead do, as anyone does.

Despite silence standing still between them, their eyes had a conversation of their own. Nothing but fondness and admiration as subjects. Till a sound of an amused grey haired man swiftly managed to break them out of their zone.

" Am i interrupting something? " Taehyung wondered, at the corner of his lips was a crease of amusement.

The redhead rubbed the back of his neck, dropping his gaze. A gentle flush of pink had arisen in his cheeks that showed embarrassment, yet it was an amusement to Taehyung.

" Relax there pretty boy, we were only having a staring contest. " The blonde nonchalantly stated however the grey-head couldn't fall for it so easily, but simply gave a nod, smirk still planted on his face.

"Whatever you say blonde, anyways.. Haneul is sleepy"

The redhead's shoulders sank, sadness evident in his eyes as he glanced at a sleepy Haneul. He wished for this day to never have an end. He knew it wouldn't be the last time he'd see the older, but would he manage to pull out his courage once again?.. Till the words of the pale man suddenly popped up in his mind.

_It's okay not to overthink things through at certain times. To not give it second thoughts or hesitation and just let courage take full control._

And that was enough said for the redhead. He stood up along with yoongi, observing him fondly as the older picked up the child. Haneul lazily waved at Taehyung which had him melting and perhaps glad that the child finally responded to him.

The redhead shook his head at the younger before leading the blonde outside the house. It was most definitely awkward for Hoseok, but not for the older as he glanced up at the redhead, flashing him his gummy charming smile that melted the younger's heart. He managed to smile back shyly at the blonde before he decided to break the silence.

" Do you need a ride home? " The older chuckled and shook his head

" I have a car remember?.."

" Ahh.. r-right right.. I- um.. well- ah for fuck sake.." The redhead frustratingly cupped his face, attempting to hide his rosy cheeks.

Yoongi bit his lip, amused by the redhead's sudden nervousness, yet he found that extremely adorable and attractive.

He chuckled as his eyes finally landed on Hoseok's flushed red face, causing the younger to chuckle and run his hand through his hair.

" Yup. said it once and i'll say it again.. You're killing me with the cuteness here. " The younger softly gazed at Yoongi as he heard those words.

" Th-thank you I guess.. Will I be seeing you soon? "

" Why? Missing me already? " The older shot a wink at the redhead, expecting a shy mess however he did not expect what came out of Hoseok's mouth.

" You're hard to forget.. Harder to keep off my mind I must say. " The younger couldn't help but grin at the sudden blush that crept up the blonde's cheeks.

" touche.. "

"Ah by the way.. Thanks for the earlier chat.. Quite needed the support but.. I'm not usually the guy that chooses courage over fear. " The redhead stated, confused at the older who had a smirk on his face, his head tilt as he spoke.

" Have you forgotten what I've said to you already?.. No second thoughts. Just let courage wash you through. "

".. Easier said than done." The younger frustratingly stated as he broke the gaze from Yoongi.

" That's where you're wrong. "

Hoseok's eyebrows met in confusion as the older took a few steps closer. His pulse raced and small locks of hair tumbled in front of the redhead's face, but with one swift slide of Yoongi's thumb, it was brushed out of the way. Hoseok looked into the pale man's eyes that displayed his soul till his lips touched the younger's cheek. Time stopped and his heart came to a halt. His breath got caught in his throat. their fingers locked together, similar to puzzle pieces as the soft skin of his mouth left the side of the redhead's face, the exact spot where they had come into contact burned and tingled. A hot blazing fire pulsed through him and a small grin crept onto the older's face as Hoseok's cheeks painted themselves rose red. Yoongi pulled away silently, but their eyes locked, That's when Hoseok knew. Every good thing seems possible, he knew he found what he has been looking for. Someone to show him what it means to be happy from the inside out, so his smile can be real and not a mask.

" See?.. Courage wins. " The blonde couldn't help but smirk at the younger, finally earning the view of a shy mess in front of him.  
  


"Courage over fear.. Point taken." the redhead chuckled and scratched his temple as he glanced down at the older.

" I'll see you soon, red face. " With that being said, the pale man turned around and left, slowly disappearing out of the younger's sight and leaving him puzzled.

"Who the red face?"

" JESUS. please tell me you just popped up and weren't eavesdropping like the turd you are. " Taehyung flashed his box smile which planted more suspicion into the redhead.

" Nope.. "

" Okay goo- "

" I didn't say I didn't observe though. " 

" .. Ass. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is this okay.. For me to feel this way Haneul-ah?.." The blonde stroke his child's head, deep in his thoughts.

" Is it okay to own someone who is already owned?.. "

" To let my feelings loose for someone that can't be mine?.. Can i commit this sin?.."

" Can I be selfish.."

" Can I break my promise.. And follow my desires?.."

_" We have feelings that are not visible, we do things to prevent ourselves from being miserable. Being honest is what makes us believable, for our feelings may not always be reachable. "_

Yoongi managed a chuckle and closed his eyes, heaving a deep sigh.

" You're right.. "

" I'm sorry.. But "

_" Please take care of Hoseok .. Keep your promise to me.."_

" I can't. " 

The older smiled softly, as the Younger popped up in his mind.

" Now that I'm closer to you. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Valentine's Day lovelies ~ ❤


	7. Lustful For Your Attention

  
  
  
" Alright Mr. Kim, I just received the resu- "

" Doctor Jung? " The assistant hurriedly called out after barging inside the office, catching the attention of Hoseok in an instant.

" Yes Ms. jisoo? "

" Someone came by to s-see y-you- would you hang on sir!?" The redhead crashed his eyebrows in confusion, annoyed by the sudden interrupt yet curious over was giving Jisoo a hard time.  
  


Hoseok bursted out laughing the moment his eyes landed on an excited blonde, barging his way in and leaving behind the assistant with a shocked expression.

" Sir, for the last time. Dr. Jung is busy with his patients you can't just barge in like that! " Jisoo frustratingly stated; however, Yoongi didn't nudge over her words and continued to smile softly at the redhead, causing him to slightly blush. He broke the gaze and turned his attention back on a frustrated Jisoo.

" It's alright Ms. Jisoo, Yoongi won't be a bother. I can assure this to both you and Mr. Kim here.. So let's carry on? " Yoongi held the urge to let out a snort as he wiggled his eyebrows at Jisoo.

" You heard the man Ms. Jisoo " Jisoo held herself from smashing the balls of a certain blonde. She simply bowed and left the office as Yoongi lead his feet to a near chair, twirling in it as he examined the office in awe which the redhead found adorable. He found himself quickly distracted by the older till someone cleared his throat, bringing back the redhead to reality.  
  


" Ah! All apologies Mr. Kim.. As i was saying.. I received the results for Jaewon and it confirms the results to my examination. It's an infection of the gut we call Gastroenteritis, it's not just a stomach ache though. Which explains the vomiting, diarrhea, and the abdominal pain. This can be caused by a variety of viruses, Rotavirus in your son's case. However, you don't have to worry of its return because once you have had Rotavirus, your body usually becomes immune to getting it again. Most stomach viruses clear up within a few days to a week and require nothing more than rest and TLC. Still, you should make sure Jaewon is drinking enough fluids to prevent dehydration." The middle-aged man kept nodding yet worrisome was evident all over his face, which Hoseok had caught. 

" Mr. Kim there's no need to worry, Jaewon will be okay if you do follow my instructions. You can start with just a tablespoon of an electrolyte solution, I recommend Pedialyte every 15 minutes and slowly increase the amount. If Jaewon prefers Gatorade or juice, water it down by half since these drinks are high in sugar and can exacerbate diarrhea. Once he feels like eating, offer him small amounts of bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast. We call that the BRAT diet." The redhead heard a snort from the blonde, followed by the laughter of the child. He was worried that the child was still in major pain but that quickly faded away as he heard him laughing again. The younger was glad he had lightened up the mood for Mr. Kim as he glanced at him, smiling at his own child.

" Let's carry on.. If he keeps these down, slowly return him to regular meals. You might also try feeding him Greek yogurt. It's high in probiotics which promote healthy flora in the gut and contains less sugar than the regular kind. " 

The man nodded in response, relieved and hopeful that it could win against the pain his kid is suffering from.

" Aren't there any quick approaches ? Medications and whatnot?  "

" Medication is not really needed in this case.. Besides. You shouldn't give your child medicines to stop diarrhea unless he's at the age of twelve or above. I know hey sound like attractive remedies but they are unsafe to give to children, due to possible serious complications. However i can give you  Paracetamol or Ibuprofen to ease high temperatures and headaches if they occur. "    
Yoongi had observed the younger the entire time. You could say he was beyond mesmerized and impressed by the redhead's skills when it comes to treating children. His attraction grew more as he observed Hoseok's focused expressions, the worry for his patients in his eyes, how much he sincerely cared for those children and that it wasn't just an act. He could without a doubt, trust this man when it comes to Haneul.   
  


The older smiled softly at a sudden delightful thought that crossed his mind.  
He imagined Hoseok as a father, a father to his own child. 

Yoongi was so deep into his dreamland that he didn't notice the attempts to break him away from it. He didn't notice the patients leaving, Hoseok's knocks on the desk nor the several times the redhead called his name out.   
  


" Yoongi! " the redhead called out the pale man after he approached him and knelt down right in front of him, finally catching the attention of Yoongi as he got startled.   
" I'm s-sorry but you scared me to be honest. I guess you were just deep in your thoughts.. Damn. Having me in your thoughts must be that good to feel huh?.." the redhead quoted the older, feeling proud as he witnessed the blushing mess in front of him. 

However Yoongi doesn't go down that easily. 

" So good it almost went out of control. " With that being said, tables have turned. The blonde was now smirking at the cute redhead kneeling down in front of him. Hoseok gulped as his eyes landed on the older's lips, his soft pink lips became a sudden craving to the younger as the older licked the corner of his lips intentionally, placing Hoseok in an uneasy state.

" You know, you can get a taste of them if you want. " Hoseok got taken aback from the sudden words that escaped the older's mouth and instantly stood up, turning his heels away. The older chuckled as Hoseok almost stumbled upon his own desk.

The redhead fixed himself and leaned against his desk, crossing his arms. The moment his eyes met Yoongi's they both couldn't help but laugh it out loud. 

" Too late to act cool huh? " The redhead embarrassingly admitted, earning a nod from the blonde.

" Way too late pretty boy. "  

" I'm just going to save my own ass and move on.. Anyway what brings you here? wait.. How did you even know I work here? " Yoongi smirked and tilted his head at the younger.   
  


" Dork was more than honored to share this info with me. " Hoseok chuckled and shook his head. The younger felt nervousness rushing through his body as the blonde stood up and leaned on the desk beside him, his palm resting right next to the redhead's, almost touching.

" To be honest with you.. Recently I've been lustful for your attention Hoseok-ah. "

The younger felt lost at words. He wished he could pour out his feelings all at once but that remained a risk he couldn't take.. He pulled out courage, allowing his gaze to meet up with the older's. They both stared at each other, pleading for words to escape out of their mouths to fight the silence.

Yoongi hesitated to hold the younger's hand, fear preventing him yet heart encouraging him. He did not expect however for the redhead to beat him up to the punch. 

And that's when they both understood. 

They understood why people hold hands. They always thought it was about possessiveness, saying This is mine, but it's about maintaining contact. It is about speaking without words. It is about I want you with me and don't go. It's about a promise to one another that, for just a moment, the two don't have to face the world alone.

And in that moment, they both let their hearts loose.

Yoongi couldn't hold back the wide grin that plastered on his face and neither did Hoseok as he glanced lovingly at their hands, their hearts fluttering by a simple yet such a powerful and action.

Hoseok felt the blush creeping upon his cheeks as his eyes met with Yoongi's. He instantly looked back at their hands, shyness making him rage at himself in his mind; however, Yoongi couldn't help but find it a blessing to his eyes.

" Your eyes make me shy. " Said the redhead as his thumb caressed the pale's hand. 

" Oh? Am I winning so easily then? " Yoongi tilted his head, amused with this side of the younger.

Hoseok smirked and faced the older, gazing into his eyes as he pulled his hand up and gently kissed his knuckles.   
" Does this answer your question.. Yoonsie? " Yoongi quickly removed his hand and pulled up his turtleneck, attempting to hide his rosy cheeks.   
" A-anyway I came by wondering if I can steal you for a while.. I left Haneul with taehyung so I have some time to kill. "

" Ah well.. You're lucky that was my last patient. you drove here? " The blonde nodded. 

" Same here.. Let's meet up somewhere then? "   
" Well.. There's a new horror movie that I've been waiting for at the near theater, wanna join me? " Yoongi's anticipation soon turned to worrisome as he noticed the sudden paleness of the redhead. His curiosity and confusion urged him to wonder.

" You okay?.."

" H-huh? I'm- yeah I'm alright we're alright it's alright " The older slightly laughed, soon getting the hint of the redhead's fear.  
  


" We don't have to watch horror if you're not comfortable with it.. I heard fifty shades freed is out we ca- "

" Horror is good, horror is GREAT let's go " Hoseok hurriedly took off his white coat and hung it before he grabbed his belongings and made his way to the door, opening it for the older to make his way out.

" Adorable.." Said the pale man as made his way outside before Hoseok and waited. The older grew comfortable as he leaned against a fence outside the hospital, observing the redhead as he made his way to his vehicle. He soon stopped and glanced back at the older, casually sending him a wink before he made his way in. The blonde felt fluttered and couldn't hide his amusement.

nor his excitement as well. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Closer to 200 reads ugh Thank you? Honestly ty xx My writing might not be that professional but I'm glad some of you are actually interested in this.

Got two things to state, 1- Always wanted to become a pediatric however author-nim is a dull Interior Designer now. 2- I promise you guys will get another update today since I'm already excited for this Sope date.


	8. Make A Wish

  
  
  
" Jung Hoseok.. The perfect Man..  
  
  


Takes forever to park a car "

" It was technically thirty minutes don't exaggerate "

" It's RIDICULOUS "

" END of discussion let's go " The older's laughter slowly died as he nodded at the redhead, his hand finding its way around Hoseok's as he lead him towards the ticket counter.

Hoseok felt his face heating up as the older tightened his grip, but the younger couldn't deny the pleasurable feeling that washed through him from the skin contact, nor the greed that had him desiring for more.

As the older glanced back and forth between the monitors and a frightened Hoseok, he couldn't help but chuckle at the younger, tightening his grip even more to grab the redhead's attention.

" Last call.. Still up for this ? " Hoseok gulped as he observed the monitors, his eyes landing on the only horror movie trailer that was displayed. The redhead knew he had to dig up courage for the sake of this night; thus, nodded hesitantly at the blonde. 

" Alright then.. Two tickets for Insidious the last key please "

" Wait let me get this- "

" It's on me, I asked you out remember? " The younger rubbed the back of his neck and smiled fondly at the pale man as he purchased the tickets and soon wiggled them in front of the redhead.

" Trust me, you'll be okay Hoseok-ah. "

" Alright alright.. What the worst that could happen right? " 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" THIS IS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN " 

And it really was. Having Hoseok jumping out of his seat at every jump scare. It wasn't inevitable for the redhead to face away or dash out of the entire theater, but he couldn't back out. He didn't want to. He wanted to go through this torture for a certain blonde, even if it had him screaming his lungs out.

The older did receive the hint. He appreciated the gesture; however, he was concerned over the redhead. With every scream that slipped off of his mouth, guilt grew more into Yoongi.

" Hoseok-ahh it's alright.. let's lea- "

" You in the back!! Can you shut it??? i can't hear shit! "

The redhead cupped his face in embarrassment. He knew this would happen. He expected the negative comments, to cause annoyance to the crowd, to certainly ruin the movie for the blonde but, he could've never expected this. 

" I KNOW YOU JUST DID NOT SAY THAT TO HIM YOU TRASHY ASS CLOWN LOOKING FLAT CHEST TWENTY CENTS DICK SUCKER LOOKING LIKE A BAG OF EBOLA FIGHT ME " 

Silence is gold. And everyone was indeed bloody rich at this moment.

The redhead slowly pulled his hands away and stared at the older as he continued to spit fire at the girl. Hoseok couldn't describe how he felt at this moment.. But he was certain of one thing. 

His feelings grew further towards Yoongi.

" Y-yoongi it's fi-"

" No Hoseok. Let's just go and leave this hall silenced for princess dickface " Yoongi smirked at the girl, successfully dominating the argument. He grabbed hold of the redhead's hand and tightened his grip around it as they exited the theater hand in hand.

" Wait! what about the movie?? " Hoseok slowly slipped his hand away from the older's and glanced at the theater gate, Guilt still evident in his eyes.

" Fuck the movie. I got the best view right here " The redhead glanced back at the older, blush creeping up his cheeks. He felt thankful that it was night time otherwise it would've been evident.

The older cringed from his own cheesiness as the younger chuckled and shook his head.

"You're safe.

Thanks by the way.. " 

The blonde smiled softly at Hoseok, taking the redhead's hand in his as they made their way to the parking lots.

The walk was filled with silence. It lingered in the air, thick and heavy, like a blanket. Wherever they moved, that silence followed, always watching never fading. Their own, personal shadow. It was comfortable however, a silence between the two.  They enjoyed the warmth of companionship, rather than the noise of chattering incessantly as they looked into one another's eyes.

" I'll make it up to you I promise " The older chuckled and stopped his tracks, granting the redhead his full attention.

" Is that your way of asking me out dimples? " 

Hoseok faced the blonde and gazed at him, soaking in the warmth of his eyes. This is what he had dreamed of, just the two of them with bravery soaking him from head to toe. His heart and mind finally on the same terms.

The redhead traced Yoongi's lip lightly with the tip of his finger. It pouted slightly, Hoseok had such an urge to bite it, to kiss it, to wrap them both up in a quilt and listen to their gentle breathing. His lip felt slightly chapped under Hoseok's feather light touches but the redhead simply cannot bring himself to give a damn. He gazed so intently at every inch of that lip, as if it could map out ancient seas and college plans, telling the younger everything he doesn't know.

And he didn't want to look up. Because if he does, he might find himself at the mercy of questioning eyes, pleading, begging to know what the redhead was doing, and he is not at place to say because he simply does not know. "Do I love you?" the younger couldn't form an answer with his lips because he was so focused on Yoongi's.

Hoseok wasn't the only one lost in his thoughts. Yoongi knew he wasn't brave enough for this, but he couldn't resist. He leaned in a little closer, their foreheads touching. He couldn't fight against the thoughts that were going through his mind. The redhead's very smell was flooding his senses now.. They paused, looking into each other's eyes. Yoongi swallowed and held his breath. Leaning into the younger, his lips drawing near, redhead's parting to receive them..

He stopped inches away, his eyes drifted down to the redhead's lips, savoring the moment. His heart was beating faster when suddenly, a car honking disturbed the heavens and brought hell from the underground.

Yoongi let out a deep annoyed growl and faced the car, his eyes blinded by the car lights.

"ALL THESE PARKING LOTS. ALL THESE FUCKING PARKING LOTS AND YOU HAD TO PICK THIS ONE?" Hoseok couldn't help but burst out in laughter, watching the older lashing out at the driver.

" Yoongiii let's goo that's enough. " Said the younger as he playfully pouted at Yoongi, having him surrender within no time.

The two eventually made their way to their cars and driven off back home only to get welcomed by two dorks smiling sheepishly.

" Okay what did you guys do. " Hoseok asked in curiosity. His eyebrows met in confusion as he received no answer from the two but instead, got blindfolded by the older.

" Wh-what th- "

" It's time.. Sunshine. "

Hoseok could feel the older leading him along the corridor and further into the house. He couldn't help but get excited over the cause of this and the laughter of the those surrounding him didn't ease up his feeling.

Yoongi stopped his tracks and that tensed up the younger. He made his way in front of the redhead and slowly took off the blindfold, taking a step aside to reveal what has been hidden.

" SURPRISE! "

It was indeed a satisfying moment where Hoseok's face washed blank with confusion, like his brain cogs couldn't turn fast enough to take in the information from his wide eyes. Every muscle of his body just froze before a grin crept onto his face, it stretched from one side to the other, soon breaking into laughter that set warmth to the hearts of those around him.

" Can't believe I forgot my day of existence.." The redhead looked all around, feeling fond and speechless over the warm gesture. The place was set up perfectly, it was a simple celebration but it was more than enough for their hope.

" That's why you have us Subby Hubby " Taehyung soon came and placed the cake on the table, he chuckled as the redhead scowled at him while he lit up the candles.

" Make a wish hope. "

The redhead held Yoongi's hand, tightening the grip around it as he let out a sigh and closed his eyes, wishing for his deepest desires.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Yoongi wait up! " The blonde turned around, glancing quickly at a sleepy Haneul after securing him inside the car. As the older glanced back at an excited redhead, he felt amazed how someone can shine brightly at the darkest of nights.

" Hope you enjoyed the surprise Hoseok-ah.. Anything wrong? " The younger shook his head and scratched his temple, Hesitating to attempt something. The older noticed the sudden change in Hoseok, mostly the sudden nervousness.

" I did.. And i've been thinking of a way to say thank you.." 

" Have you figured it out yet?.."

" I can't say it.. But I can show it. "  
  


He kissed him and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below the older's ear, his thumb caressing his cheek as their breaths mingled. Hoseok ran his fingers down Yoongi's spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them and he could feel the beating of his heart against his chest. their kiss stole the words they didn't need to say. In that silence all of their secrets were laid bare, all of their passions and the spark of love that existed between them. In that moment Hoseok thought, in Yoongi's love, he was strong. One kiss and he had the courage to do what needed to be done.   
  
  


And that's to start his life, all over.

They slowly pulled away, Intoxicated by one another.

" This is what i wished for. "

The older looked up, gazing deeply into the glossy eyes of the redhead.

" To have you as my own. " 

Yoongi felt tears stinging in his eyes. He wished he could've voiced out what he felt at the moment, but all that slipped out was a soft sigh. He embraced the redhead tightly. In his embrace the world stopped still on its axis. There was no time, no wind, no rain. Their minds were at peace. How could it be that Yoongi hadn't seen Hoseok's love for what it was before? Pure. Unselfish. Undemanding. Free. He felt his body press in, soft and warm. This was the love they waited for, prayed for. A love like this was to be cherished for life. Finally, they were home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Was supposed to post this on Hobi's birthday but, uni and work happened.   
All apologies and hope you enjoy this chapter xx


	9. Thank You

  
  
  
  
" Pretty please? "

" No. "

" Pleaaase? "

" I said no "

" Let the kid grab one.. "

" One? he wants the whole damn candy section " Yoongi clarified frustratingly. He soon grew soft as he watched his son get carried by the redhead, embracing the child tightly. Yoongi felt glad that he invited the younger to a quick grocery shopping for some company, or maybe having Hoseok stuck in his mind ever since that night.

" Haneul-ahh.. You know daddy is doing this for your own good right?.. " The child pouted but soon nodded at the redhead. Yoongi felt amazed over his power of persuasion but even more amazed at how the child grew fond of the younger in such a short time.

" So you'd listen to Hobi but not me huh?.. I'm disappointed in yo- hello ? do u even hear me? " The younger couldn't help but laugh amusingly at the child as he ignored the pale man, lost into the world of sugar, extremely focused and careful while picking out his candy. It was a pleasant view to them both.

" Hobi?.."

" Hmm? "   
  


" Aren't you getting anything? "

The redhead glanced at the child and back at the older, suddenly sending him into a state of confusion as the younger smirked and took a few steps closer. He wrapped his arms around Yoongi's waist, pressing his firm body against the older's as he dived deeply into his eyes.

" You're enough. " Yoongi couldn't find the right words to say, he cussed himself inside his head for being so weak for a beautiful redhead. His breathing became rapid and shallow. He felt his pulse pounding in his temples and craved for their lips to meet.. He wanted to be a sinner for tonight.

The redhead certainly received the hint, seeing how focused the older was on his lips. He slowly leaned closer, their lips inches apart.. His forehead rested against the blonde's.. Yoongi closed his eyes in anticipation, excitement had their breaths shaking.

" Yoongi.. " Hoseok said in barely more than a whisper.

" Hoseok.. " He replies, his voice low and husky.

" SIKE. "

" YOU MOTHERFU- "

" Daddy? " silence suddenly took control over the both before Yoongi pushed the younger away and flashed him gummy smile, while Hoseok on the other hand couldn't control his laughter.

" Yes haneul-ah? "

" I can't pick one.. " Hoseok couldn't help but pout at the adorable child before him before an idea popped up in his head. He knelt in front of the child and fixed his shirt while speaking, "How about you both come over.. So I can bake you a chocolate cake. Sounds good?"

And that's all it took for Haneul to cling on the redhead's leg, thanking him over and over. Yoongi felt warmth wrapping up his heart at this sudden gesture, he truly felt happy that someone is treating Haneul the way he deserves to be treated. Unlike someone else..

" Daddy can we? " the child innocently looked up at yoongi, his giggle brought back the older from hope world. 

" Yes daddy can we? " The younger smirked at Yoongi, having him turning into a blushing mess in no time.

" Y-yeah I guess " Haneul jumped into his father's arms, he couldn't hide his gratefulness nor his excitement.. Neither did Yoongi to be truthful.

" Thank you daddy! " Haneul spoke.

" Yes thank you daddy " Hoseok added.

" SHUT UP. " Yoongi tried to escape his embarrassment and carried Haneul, placing him down in the cart as he giggled at his father's state. He soon pushed the cart towards the cashier, leaving an amused Hoseok behind, who soon followed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
" Annnnd that's it, we just gotta get it in the fridge now. You've done well haneul-ah~ "

" Thank you hyung! " Hoseok ruffled the excited child's hair, touched by his words. He soon carefully held the cake and placed it in the fridge before he turned his attention towards a beautiful blonde, who was too busy admiring the redhead.

Yoongi instantly broke the gaze as soon as their eyes met, pretending to be occupied by a phone call. What he didn't expect .. Is a sudden phone call in the midst of his act.

" Don't.. laugh. " 

" I'm really.. really trying not to " Yoongi growled at the younger as Hoseok laughed his ass off. He cupped his face in embarrassment, wishing the grounds would swallow him whole at this moment.

" Hey it's alright really, if it makes you any better it's really adorable to me. " the younger plopped down on the couch beside the blonde and threw his arm over his shoulder, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. Yoongi didn't budge but he soon felt aroused by the redhead as he felt his hot breath on his neck, the tender brush of lips. Burning as they made contact with the older's neck. A hand ran through his hair, as the kisses became harder and more urgent. Another hand slid around Yoongi's waist, pulling him closer to his firm body.

The pleasure ran through Yoongi's entire body. His scent is intoxicating, the blonde thought. The redhead kissed his way gently up to Yoongi's lips that he craved the most, the surroundings disappeared and they both got lost in this moment.

Till an amused Taehyung decided to clear his throat. 

They both parted away, followed by a loud growl from the blonde. 

" Really? "

" Well I'm sorry but keep it innocent if you please, we got a kid here " Taehyung amusingly warned. Despite him wanting to see more action, he decided to protect the child's innocence.

" Alright alright.. I guess we should contain ourselves huh redhead? " Yoongi teasingly questioned; however, the redhead was not bothered as he fired back,

" I could, but can you?.."

" Let's break up " the younger bursted out in laughter as he heard those words, he pulled yoongi into a warm tight embrace and left a kiss on his head.   
  


"Okay I take that back." Yoongi finally gave in and drowned in the younger's arms, he would be lying if he said that it wasn't the best feeling in the world.

" Hey yoongi.."

" Hmm..? "

" Thank you. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" I shouldn't have drank this much.."   
  


" You really shouldn't have subby yoonsie. "

" Thanks for the boost Taeturd. "

" Jesus it's alright.. You guys can crash here tonight, there's no way I'm letting you drive in this state anyway. " Yoongi felt touched by the redhead's concern, yet the intoxication annoyed every bit of him. They weren't planning on having small talks all night long nor a drink after the other down their throats, but nothing is ever planned.

" Alright then, Haneul is already passed out on my bed. I'm going to crash too, please keep your moans low use a condom goodniiiiight "

Yoongi stuffed his face into a pillow as another one was tossed right in Taehyung's way, who luckily dodged it and headed to his room, laughing in satisfaction.   
  


" Sorry about that.. " the blonde sat up and shook his head.

" It's okay.. Thanks by the way "

" For?.. "

" Just.. Caring. not only over me but.. Over Haneul. It means the world to me. "

Hoseok froze in his place, he didn't know how to reply or what to do. His emotions were all over the place at this moment. He wanted to pour his heart out, let out those three words that would change everything.. Mostly to the better but it wasn't easy. Even with Yoongi. Fear was still standing in their way.

But they couldn't stand still in front of it.   
  


The next thing Yoongi knew, Hoseok had slammed his lips on the older's and nearly knocked all wind from his lungs.

The blonde hardly had a moment to react before the redhead pressed his tongue against his lips for access, which yoongi immediately granted. It was a very sloppy kiss with the strong scent of alcohol being exchanged in the intermingling of their breaths. The older's arms reached up and tangled around Hoseok's thick, strong neck. In an instant Yoongi had pulled away and arched up into the redhead's chest, moaning in the contact of body heat against his own, before Yoongi drew back into Hoseok's lips. He could nearly feel the slight burn of the alcohol as it rolled off his tongue and seeped down his throat with every push of the redhead's tongue against his.

Hoseok pulled away however, causing the older to let out a growl at the sudden action. He rested his forehead against Yoongi's as they both were panting.

" I can't Yoongi.. "

" What do you mean??.. Is it .. me? " The redhead chuckled and pecked the older's lips.

" No.. What i mean is that, I can't. Not like this.. Not when we're intoxicated. If i wanna do this with you.. I'd want to remember it. "

Yoongi felt his eyes stinging with tears. He instantly embraced the redhead as tight as he could. Afraid that this could be just a dream, that Hoseok could vanish in any second. The amount of love he felt for the younger is indescribable, and he wanted to share it with him. He wanted to confess those feelings that got trapped in his heart.. They both wanted to. Time is all they needed.

" Hoseok-ah.. "

" Hmm?.."

" Thank you.. "

They wouldn't deny those feelings anymore, they couldn't in fact as they slowly fell into deep sleep, embraced by the warmth of their love.   
  


  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chap 9 soon! hope you enjoyed this chap x


	10. Chase The Truth

" You shouldn't have smacked jesus out of me. "   
  
" Then don't try to wake me up again. "   
  
" Quite salty for someone called Suga. "  
  
" Jeez.. Where is Hoseok anyway? " Yoongi wondered. He wouldn't deny having his memory blurred out at the moment, nor the headache that brought up hell but none of that mattered. He can still feel the redhead's lips on his.   
  
Taehyung observed the older, His mouth twitched, and The younger was pretty sure Yoongi was fighting a smile.   
  
" He told me he wanted to get something real quick "    
  
" Yeah. Three hours ago. " Yoongi laid back and pulled out his phone, quickly dialing the redhead's number.   
  


 

" Anyone ever told you that you look beautiful asleep?.. "   
  
The voice of the man he loved. The depth of that sound as it blurted out those words sent the older's sanity sailing. He could listen to it all day. It was a voice to sink in as it wraps you up, yet vibrating with power and command. It was a voice that became one of his weaknesses.   
  
" Only that I curse in my sleep.. Morning Hoseok-ah. "   
  
" Morning, Yoongi.. Slept well? "   
  
" I did.. Where are you? "   
  
" Ah just needed something don't worry, I'm almost home anyway "  
  
" You're driving??? hang up then jesus. "   
  
" Why? worried about me? "  
  
".. Maybe. So? "  
  
" You're adorable."   
  
" And you're an ass bye. "   
  
The redhead laughed as the blonde bitterly hung up on him, his laughter slowly dying into a soft smile as he stared at his lock screen.

       

 

" Ahh he's so going to kill me..  
  
  
I'll take this one please. "   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
" Again.. It's not that hard. "   
  
" It is Taehyung-ah. You might not know why but trust me I do and it's making it hard for me to confess. "  
  
" Look.. I have no right to spill out what happened to hyung but, it wasn't pleasant. It still isn't. When the time is right he'll let it all out to you.. However, Your existence pierced through all the bad in his life and all was well again. Please I.. He's slowly returning to the Hoseok we once knew.. And it's a damn miracle because none of us managed to accomplish what you did.   
  
  


Hoseok needs you.. And I'm sure  **you**  need him just as much."   
  
The blonde was too deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice the redhead's arrival. Hoseok slowly approached the older from behind, Hiding an object behind him and tapped Yoongi's shoulder.   
  
The older got startled for a second before he turned around, his eyes met with a beautiful smile, plastered on a beautiful redhead's face.   
  
A smile he truly cherished, it was a blessing to his eyes. The way the younger's lips lift upwards, Making way for his dimples to appear. The way his teeth are perfectly aligned. The warm glow his happiness gives. His smile was a ray of sunshine, and Yoongi had a sunburn.  
  
" Was I occupying your thoughts, as always?.." The older scoffed but he couldn't help but smile. He stood up and made his way to the redhead, cupping his cheeks before he placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was safe to say that Hoseok's face matched the color of his hair at this point.  
  
" Does that answer your question ?.." The younger slowly nodded, his eyes were still fixated on Yoongi's lips.   
  
" S-so i.. uhm. I brought you something.. " Hoseok handed the older the gift, chuckling at Yoongi's shocked expression.   
  


"Come on, open it" The redhead observed Yoongi as he began tearing the gift wrapping apart. He stood frozen as it soon came clear to what it was.   
  


" I remembered when you told me about your dream.. So I figured your love for Photography deserved support.. It's a recommended DLSR, Canon EOS 5D Mark 5. "   
  
" A WHAT " Taehyung stumbled his way to Hoseok, examining the box.   
  
" This costs a fortune I'VE BEEN BEGGING YOU FOR IT. " The grey haired man whined while Yoongi on the other hand, Kept his gaze locked with the redhead's. They both just stood there, staring at each other and getting lost into the maze of each other's eyes.   
  
" Yeah Taehyung-ah.. I need to steal Hoseok for a bit " Leaving a pouty Taehyung behind, Yoongi grabbed the redhead's hand and headed back to the younger's room.   
  
" Yoongi?.. " The older locked the door behind them and turned around, facing the confused man. Without wasting a second, the older wrapped his arms around Hoseok's neck, Slamming his lips on the redhead's. It didn't take long before the younger started kissing him back, Their lips fitted perfectly, as if they were meant for each other. Moving against each other, feeling each other. Hoseok grabbed the back of Yoongi's neck, growling in the kiss as the older drowned in pleasure.   
  
The redhead's lust took control over him. He lifted the older up, having Yoongi's legs wrapped around his waist as he slammed him against the wall, Deepening the kiss more and more. Growls and moans escaping their mouths, their tongues intertwining as they devoured each other.   
  
Hoseok soon headed towards the bed, letting the older fall on it with a soft bounce on the mattress. They locked eyes for just a moment, just enough for them to feel safe with one another. Yoongi simply gave a nod before the redhead started undoing Yoongi's jeans, pulling them off, kissing from his toes upward, slowly, his hands on the pale legs. Yoongi could feel his back arch in anticipation, knowing where Hoseok's fingers will soon reach. Yoongi's head rocked back against the pillow as the younger wrapped his delicate fingers around his shaft.  
  
  
It's a shame that it had to end however. Having a whiny grey haired man knocking on the door.   
  
"Believe me i do not wish this to end as well but Haneul woke up." 

" I'm starting to doubt that.. " Hoseok mumbled.

Yoongi groaned and flipped around, stuffing his face frustratingly into the pillow. Which only earned him a chuckle from the redhead. 

" If that was your way of thanking me Yoongi.. then." Yoongi slowly turned around, facing the amused younger.   
  
"You're welcome."   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
" It's really cooool! "   
  
" Right? Why don't you thank hyung for it.. "   
  


" Thank you Hobi hyungg! " The child smiled widely at the redhead and it had him melting all over again. There was something about the way Haneul smiled; the way butterflies seemed to escape from the pit of his stomach and the way the sun had somehow toppled down from the sky and made a home right there in his heart. He had the kind of smile that made you feel happy to be alive and just that little bit more human. It brought the redhead the warmth he always craved for.   
  


" You're welcome little guy " Hoseok carried the child and placed him down on his lap before the attack of tickles came Haneul's way. It was a picture worth a thousand words to Yoongi. The warmth and happiness that exploded from those two were mesmerizing to the pale man. It had him craving on a wish. Perhaps a possible wish.   
  
" Where's Taehyung by the way? " Yoongi questioned.   
  


" Ah he's sulking in his room.. Been texting me for the past hours, trying to fill me up with guilt. " The younger laughed as Yoongi rubbed the back of his head.   
  


" It is expensive thou- "   
  


" I'd give you the world if I could. You're worth it.. " Yoongi felt speechless at this moment, blush crept upon his cheeks as he felt his fingers intertwining with the redhead's.   
  


  
" Daddy?.. " Yoongi broke the gaze from Hoseok's and shifted his attention towards the child.   
  
" Yes baby? "    
  


" I'm bored.. " Hoseok couldn't help but smile at the younger. His adorableness was always persuasive.   
  


" How about we go out and try the camera?.. " Hoseok suggested. Haneul was about to burst his happiness out but a well raised kid would ask permission first. The best time to use his weapons. The child approached the pale man, bowing slightly before he rested his palms on Yoongi's knees and gazed deeply into his eyes, pleading with his own.   
  


" ....Alright alright.. I raised you well. " Haneul jumped on him, drowning into the warm embrace of his father.   
  
Hoseok observed the two with not only fondness is his eyes, but in his heart as well.   
  
  
But little did they know.   
  
Someone stood not so far from the window.   
  
In complete disbelief and in certainty,  that this was the breaking point of their patience.  
  
With a slight sinister smirk, she scoffed as she observed the happy family.  
  
  
  
  
" Game on.. Min Yoongi. "  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Okay things will get both intense and interesting from now on so be ready.   
  
Ty xx   
  


 


	11. Escaping you

  
  
" You really didn't have to.. "   
  
" Wanted to thank you properly for the camera so.. It's really nothing Hoseok-ah " The redhead shook his head, slowly approaching the older before he wrapped his arms around Yoongi's waist, stroking his back as the younger gazed deeply into his eyes.   
  
" It's everything Yoongi.. You're my everything. " Hoseok soon realized what he just blurted out, switching his confidence to panic as he quickly let go of the older and drowned his hands into his pockets.   
  
Yoongi felt a mix of emotions. He felt the weight of the world lift off his shoulders with Hoseok's confession, but it came back crashing down on him as he recalled a memory. A promise. A person or rather.. A fear.   
  
The older stepped closer and pulled the younger by his collar, kissing him deeply on the lips. The redhead could've kissed him back if his feelings didn't cloud him. He felt empty inside.. That kiss was far beyond from what the younger imagined. It was somehow forced.. Somehow sorrowful. Or perhaps hid a million words behind it. Hoseok couldn't help but blame himself. Perhaps Yoongi was never ready. Perhaps he never wanted to be ready.. Perhaps it was still early for courage to take control over the two.   
  
Yoongi noticed the sorrow in the redhead's eyes and reached out to cup the younger cheek. However Hoseok avoided his touch. He forced a smile before he wished the older a pleasant night and made his way inside his place.  
  
That scene played over and over in Yoongi's mind as he drove back home with Haneul, Analyzing through every second that passed by over what he could've have done wrong but it was no use. What occupied Yoongi's mind was far greater than that. 

  
" DAD RED LIGHT!! " 

As a reflex, Yoongi stepped hard on the brakes and bumped his head against the steering wheel. He cussed himself for not securing himself but the anger soon perished as he looked back at his son, feeling thankful and relieved that he's safe and secured.   
  
Haneul felt his eyes sting with tears as he got startled by the sudden change in his father. His eyes welled up with tears. His hands shaking and gripping tightly on the steering wheel as he tried with all of his strength to remain strong in front of his son.. Till Haneul struggled to make his way towards Yoongi. He reached out for his father's cheeks, cupping them with his small hands as he spoke..   
  
" daddy.. Cry.. It's okay.. "   
  
And that's when Yoongi lost it. He let his emotions loose and broke down in tears.. He couldn't care less about the green light, the cars honking, people cussing, it was all too overwhelming for him. It was all too much for him to handle. The lies and the secrets.. The broken promise that still haunts him, the person he can't confess to, it all slowly fed over him and he had to put an end to it. He wanted to put an end to it all for the sake of a fresh new start, as well as a promising future with a family he deserves.   
  
" ... dad? "

"  _Please take care of Hoseok .. Keep your promise to me.. "  
  
"_  dad... _"_

 _" Bring him back. Bring him back to me!!!! I need him back BRING HIM BACK!!!!! "_  
  
" Dad!!!! "   
  
" GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!! " Yoongi shouted. Barely catching his breath as he tried to grab hold of his sanity.   
  


The older soon had his eyes widening as he heard a small voice.. softly crying beside him. The blonde reached out for his son, gently carrying him before he brought him on top of his lap.   
  
Without voicing out a word, Yoongi began to stroke Haneul's back and planted soft kisses on his head till the boy calmed down. The older felt guilty for lashing out.. Despite it not directed at the child. He couldn't describe the insanity that scatters through his mind to a child.  
  
" Daddy's sorry Haneul-ah.. "   
  
" Dad .. Are you okay? "   
  
Yoongi took his time to answer. But enough is enough.. No more secrets.   
  
" No.. But I will be baby. For the sake of you. "   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" For the sake of you please hyung.. Let me in.. "   
  
" Hyung?.. " The younger heaved a sigh. Frustratingly he started banging on the redhead's door.   
  
" We just.. We just had you back. We had the old Hoseok back.. Why must you give up when we're so close to our goal!! " The redhead frustratingly stood up, he made his way towards the door and opened it. Anger was not evident in his eyes, yet anyone could tell his eyes revealing a broken heart.

" Hyung.. "   
  
" You want the old Hoseok back?.. I hate to break it to you but he's dead. "   
  
" Stop saying that.. "   
  
" Truth hurts doesn't it. Come on tae.. Not even Yoongi can heal me.. You know what this depression feels like?..   
  


It's like the unseen, the unheard silent killer. It is the pain that is too much to cope with, too hard to deal with and never understood. It is something that you can't escape, no matter how hard you try it ALWAYS swallows you again. It constantly follows you around, like black smoke choking you from the inside out. Like a lion clawing at your heart and mind, eating pieces of you until there is nothing left. It successfully took control of me the moment I saw my son's corpse. There's no going back Taehyung. So please just.. leave me be. "   
  


And that was more than enough to silence the younger. He knew deep down that what he desired for Hoseok is too far to reach but.. He always had hope. Knowing now that it's all gone crushed his heart inside. Taehyung knew that it was finally, game over. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
" How about I make you a smoothie when we go in?.. "   
  
The blonde chuckled when he saw Haneul nodding tiredly while yawning.   
  
" Let's postpone that then hm?.. bedtime kiddo.. " 

The storm have calmed down surely. Having Haneul screaming false lyrics along the radio songs on their way home. That had Yoongi begging air for his lungs from laughing too hard.   
  
The older carried his son in his arms and locked the car before he turned around.   
  
Facing his fear was never the plan however.   
  
" Hello. Min Yoongi " The lady voiced out. Sending shivers down the pale man's spine, but he refused to stand back this time. Enough was enough and it was time to end it all.   
  
Yoongi walked past her and unlocked the door before he headed to the child's room, gently tucking him in before he made his way down. He felt sick to his stomach as he watched her getting too comfortable in his house.   
  
" It's a mystery how you managed to do so well without me sugar. "   
  
Yoongi scoffed and walked over to her, seating himself down in front the woman.   
  
" There's something I need to discuss with you. "   
  
The woman tilted her head amusingly, smirking at the naive man before her.   
  
" Oh I believe I already know your request...   
  
  
I've seen it as well. "   
  
" Seen .. it? " The woman nodded, pulling out her phone. she took her time scrolling through the pictures but Yoongi felt at unease waiting for her.   
  
His eyes widened as soon as she showed him.   
  
A picture worth a thousand words.   
  
A picture with a happy family.   
  
That she believed it belonged to her.   
  
" I knew you wouldn't keep a promise. But.. I'm willing to give you another chance Yoongi. "   
  
Unexpectedly, the woman assumed she'd have a pale man trembling from her words but all she heard is .. Laughter.   
  
" You're.. Really naive. Aren't you?.. "   
  
The woman crashed her eyebrows in confusion.   
  
" There's nothing to be confused about sweetheart.   
  
  
You're right. We do have feelings that are invisible. Mine to Hoseok?..   
  
Love.   
  
Mine to you?   
  
Resent. If you, for a second believe that I'd forgive you.. You're living a dream. I'm exhausted but I'm not exhausted to say this..   
  
Hoseok is a part of me and Haneul. Hoseok is our family. Hoseok is our hope. These feelings I have for him can't end until my body ceases to function and my soul is released for whatever comes after. I hope that somehow they are embedded into my soul, that our love will endure. Even on my dark days my love for him will ride underneath it all, keeping my mind from sinking into the mire that claimed me in the past. I know that however deep I fear I've fallen, he and only he will be there like a solid ground to steady me, giving me time to climb back into positivity.   
  
So if you desire to shatter that.. Be my guest.   
  
I'm escaping you.. Once and for all.  
  
And the fight?..   
  
It starts now.   
  
  
... Seung rin. "  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yes i know things are complicated atm.. But everything will come clear as i promised. everything will connect at the last chapters. This fic will be about 30 chapters long.   
  
Hope you enjoy this chapter!   
  
  
  
  
  
  


 


	12. Confessions

  
  
  
  
" Are you insane???? You can't be serious with this! "

" When was I ever sane. Besides.. You believe what he did is acceptable? "

" N-no.. But this isn't a solution either. Are you trying to play with fire or put it out?? "

" I'm trying to bring back my family.

And I'll stop at nothing. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Hyung.. "

" hm? "

" This has to end it's been a week. Yoongi hyung won't stop calling and texting me! He's freaking out.. Why are you even avoiding him?? " the younger frustratingly questioned as the redhead looked down, recalling that shameful night of a confession that went down the drains.

" I somehow.. Confessed to him. " the younger looked up from his phone, a shocked expression plastered on his face.

" And????? "

" And nothing. He didn't respond.. Just planted this lifeless kiss on my lips. " Hoseok sighed and dropped his chopsticks, having his appetite disappearing with the recalls of that miserable night.

" Hyung.. that's...   
  


Stupid. You're stupid. " With flaming eyes, the redhead stared in disbelief at the younger.

" Don't give me that look. You heard me. " the younger added. " Ever tried placing yourself in someone else's shoes hyung??.. Ever thought of thinking from other's perspectives? Maybe he got flustered, maybe he wanted to confess but fear stopped him, maybe he didn't realize that whatever you blurted out was not a confession. I can give you a thousand more reasons, but that's the point! Maybe! So you simply can't jump into conclusions, you can't assume another's thoughts. Our minds and hearts are not an open book hyung.. Therefore we cannot judge by its cover. " the older was certainly in shock as he heard every word Taehyung voiced out. It all made sense to him but at the same time angered him. He felt angry at himself for not thinking it all through. The younger was right he thought. He had to chase the truth, not stand still and wait for it to arrive on its own.

" Hyung?.. "

" h-huh?.. "

" You zoned out again.. which means I did something right didn't I?.. " Hoseok smiled slightly at the younger as he returned the gesture with a wide boxed smile.

" What would I do without you. "   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Don't hang up!!! "

" I wo- "

" Hoseok just listen to me!! Let me see you please ?? "

" I actually wanted that .. Can you come over? "

" .... Hel- he hung up. " Hoseok sighed and laid back on the bed, soon bursting into laughter at the blonde's behavior.

Peeking through the door, Taehyung witnessed it all and smiled to himself. He felt relieved that the spark of hope had returned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" I'LL GET IT. "

" TAEHYUNG NO. " Hoseok shouted. Stuffing his face into the cushion in frustration as the younger rushed to get the door.

" What took you so long! " Taehyung whined and dragged the blonde further inside.

" I literally took 6 minutes to sho- " What Yoongi's eyes landed on shattered his heart. It was deja vu all over again. The same crushed soul that he observed at that graveyard had returned, and Yoongi was grey again.

" I'll get going.. Is Haneul alright? " Taehyung questioned.

" He's alright.. I gave the babysitter a call before I left. " Yoongi responded, his eyes never leaving a shy redhead as his eyes met the ground.

" Alright i'll drop by then.. " The younger awkwardly replied, making his way out of the house. His frown soon changing to a smirk.

" Yoongi.. "

" Hope. Let me do the talking.. Just listen to me " The older heaved a deep sigh. He wanted to blurt it all out but he was tongue tied. Afraid. Weak.

But as soon as he glanced up. His eyes met with a soft smile and sorrowful eyes.. And that was the breaking point for the older. His eyes welled up with tears, shouting out his feelings inside over and over till he finally voiced them out.

 _I love you.._  
  
I .. Love you..   
  
I love you.  
  
I love you!

" I love you "

" It's stupid of me to hide this any longer.. I am a fool for not sharing this with you.. The words you deserve. Fear kept dragging me back whenever I try to take a step closer to you but enough is enough.. " Yoongi spoke out, tears streaming down his cheeks. He took a deep breath and continued.   
" When I met you I'd already lost my entire world. How can you hang on to something so incomprehensible? How can you keep pouring love into an abyss? But then there you were.. There was something in those brown eyes that was so beautiful, so safe and warm.. In just one look I was home.. I reached out and made the connection, and like God Himself had arranged it, you accepted it. That first day we talked, I still recall the conversation, the feeling you gave me.. You didn't know it, but that day It wasn't only you who got saved. But you saved me as well.. I kept falling in love with you and each time was harder than the last. Every time the feeling gets deeper, closer to complete. The more love I give you the more I have bursting inside of me... crazy, huh? " The older managed a chuckle as the redhead stood frozen, his tears uncontrollably streaming down his cheeks. Was his mind playing tricks on him again?.. No. It was real.. It was all real. The man he loves is standing right before him, and that man loves him back.

" Hope I.. I have lived long enough to know that what we share is special. This love, this feeling, is just you and me. It's not that nobody else wants me, or you, but that we were born to spark and run the same course. We are the protectors of one another. The trust I give you, that you give me, is what keeps us safe in this world, in this life. So whether this heart beats another day or another hundred years.. It is yours. "   
  


_Is this what it's like to be loved ?.._

" Hope?.. "

_He really loves me.. Right?.._

" Hoseok-ah.. "

_Someone that I love and actually.. Loves me back?.._

_He won't run away will he .._

_He wouldn't leave .._

_This is Yoongi Hoseok._

_This isn't Seung rin._

What happened next was the last thing Yoongi had assumed.

Hoseok brought his hand around the older's neck and yanked him towards him, his lips slamming against Yoongi's as he lusciously devoured on the older's lips.. He couldn't handle it. His heart skipped a beat with every word the older voiced out. Hoseok was deeply .. And definitely.. In love with Yoongi. 

And actions speak louder than words.

Hoseok's hands traveled through the older's body, craving as he pulled and fumbled on Yoongi's clothes, desperate for more skin contact.. Yoongi wrapped his arms tightly around the redhead's neck as he felt his hands sliding down his jeans to grab on his cheeks, squeezing them tightly as their tongues intertwined in a passionate messy kiss.

Yoongi let out a growl as he felt the redhead's finger slide deep in him, thrusting it slowly before he shoved in another finger, causing the older to break the kiss and shut his eyes tightly as he felt the pleasurable pain washing through him. The younger observed the blonde, his flushed red face and the soft moans had Hoseok more aroused than ever. Their lips once again crashed against each other to distract Yoongi from the pain as Hoseok slid another finger, thrusting them deep and fast to prepare the blonde.

They break the kiss.

A string of saliva connecting their tongues as they stared into each other's eyes, lust taking over control.

Yoongi knew what this all meant, and he had no plans to stop Hoseok.. with a simple nod from him, Hoseok knew he couldn't waste a second.

Stripping him out of his clothes..

The soft kisses on every inch of his body..

The pleasurable moans filling up the air..

Yoongi never wished this to stop, and it didn't have to because there's nothing to fear anymore. Nothing to hide. It was all out in the open and lifted the weight of the world off their shoulders.

Hoseok lifted the older up, his arms and legs wrapped tightly around the younger as Hoseok made his way towards the bed before he let him fall off, sinking into the mattress.

Yoongi rested his elbows on the mattress and licked the corner of his lips as he observed the younger undressing himself. His eyes soon widening as they landed on the redhead's shaft. It had him gulping.. craving for its sweet taste.   
But Hoseok already mirrored that thought in his head as he yanked Yoongi by his ankles and got down on his knees, facing his lover's erected member. He slowly wrapped his hands around Yoongi's shaft, stroking it while he gently bit on the tip.. soft moans escaping from Yoongi's mouth as Hoseok twirled his tongue around it before taking him all in.

It got intense too quickly as Yoongi felt himself on the edge.. No one has ever filled him with such pleasure. He glanced down at the younger as he kept on savoring him.. it amazed Yoongi how the younger was hungry for lust, even more hungrier for the pale man. It didn't take long before Yoongi moaned out loudly, filling up the redhead's mouth with his sweetness. Hoseok wasted no time as he swallowed it all, sinful thoughts running through his mind as he observed Yoongi. His hair sticking to his forehead, sweat covering him as he panted hard for air. His beautiful skin glowed under the soft ray of the sun.

" Fuckk.. Hoseok- " Yoongi got cut off as the redhead silenced him with an intense kiss.. He hovered above the blonde and Yoongi took his chance to roam his hands around the younger; however, it wasn't the time for the pale man to dominate. Hoseok pinned the older's hands above his head, smirking down at the needy man.

" No touching .. " Hoseok voiced out with his deep voice, arousing Yoongi even more. The redhead planted soft kisses on his lips.. shifting to his jawline.. To his neck.. To his collarbone. He felt the struggle Yoongi faced to keep his hands down as the younger shifted down to his chest and stomach. He soon found his way back to his nipples as he started to slowly lick it, sucking on it and soon biting it. It all had Yoongi arching his back in pleasure.

" Hope.. " Yoongi whispered his name. Hoseok could hear and feel the desperation rising from the older.. And the redhead finally satisfied his desire. Hoseok nudged Yoongi's legs apart with his knees as his hands slid from the older's wrists, all the way down to his hips. He bent down to plant a soft kiss on Yoongi's lips before sitting back up again, his eyes searching Yoongi's for the last decision.

The blonde gave a nod, followed by a loud moan as Hoseok slammed himself in without warning, biting his lips hard over the tightness of Yoongi.

" Oh m-myy f-fuucckkk Hoseok!!!! " Hoseok chuckled, his sweat dripping on the older as he licked his lover's tear. As twisted as that might've seemed, Yoongi found it incredibly arousing.

" It feels .. so good .. baby.. " Hoseok hardly voiced out with every thrust that sent both pleasure and pain to Yoongi. The redhead let out a growl as he felt himself coming close.. His fingers digging deep into Yoongi's hips as he pounded hard into the blonde.. The loud moans and heavy breaths scattering in the air.

" oh godddd fuccckk.. !!! " Hoseok let out a growl as he thrust with all his strength, shoving his fingers into the older's mouth as Yoongi obediently sucked on them, earning a smirk from the dominant.

With one last deep thrust, the redhead bit hard on Yoongi's shoulder as he poured out himself out into the blonde. The older arched his back and moaned out his lover's name before the redhead collapsed on top of him.. Showering him with soft kisses along his jawline.

Yoongi felt a mix of emotions.. But it all was clear to him. He didn't need Hoseok to say those words because he knew. He knew what his response was.. And It made Yoongi feel at home again.

" ... I Love You. Min Yoongi. " the older fought back the tears as he heard those words. There's nothing that could beat this moment. Two broken hearts do indeed heal each other.

The blonde wrapped his arms around the redhead, stuffing his face into Hoseok's shoulder as he shed those tears silently.

" Yoongi.. "

" Hmm.. " 

" Don't leave me.. " Hoseok spoke out with a shaky voice.

" I won't let you go.. 

I'm not ready to let go. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I might go to hell for this chapter but i hope you enjoyed it!


	13. Hell Begins

  
  
  
  
  
  
" Why did you leave.. " 

" I can't grab a glass of water?.. " Hoseok laughed slightly as the older clung on him from behind. He found it attracting how someone with such deep tempting voice can have a doll face..

" Whatever I was trying to be cute.. Jerk. " Yoongi annoyingly responded. He instantly unwrapped his arms from the younger's waist but Hoseok was faster. The redhead turned around and grabbed Yoongi by the waist, lifting him up just to slam him down on the kitchen counter.

Hoseok began stroking the older's thighs as he pressed himself against Yoongi's bulge with a smug look on his face, a complete opposite from the blonde's reaction.

" Hate to tell you that it's working.. " Hoseok spoke out as he leaned closer, instantly attacking the older's neck.

" H-hope u-ugh.. two can play this game fucker.. " the younger smirked against Yoongi's neck, unbothered as he continued sucking and biting on his sweet spot. It came as a surprise to the redhead however when Yoongi pulled down his sweats and wrapped his hands around the younger's shaft.

" WOW HEY HO NONONO. " Taehyung yelled out as he covered Haneul's eyes, thankful for saving his innocence. It was an unexpected scene for Taehyung when he arrived with the child to check upon the two.

Hoseok instantly pulled his sweats up, his face matching the color of his hair as he glanced at the younger, who was at the moment.. grinning too hard.

" I knew it. " Taehyung said with a smug look on his face.

" Congratulations yes we fuc- "

" YOONGI. "

" Made love?.. " Yoongi chuckled as the redhead blushed madly, but that didn't stop the grey haired man from teasing them a bit more.. That is until the child finally decided to speak.

" Uncle tae.. What does made love mean? " It was more than enough to silence the younger, his eyes widened as he stuttered for an answer.

" You see Haneul-ah.. When a man loves a woman.. or at your father's case when a man loves a man.. they- "

" KIM TAEHYUNG WHAT THE FREAK "

" MAKE lovable memories together. That's what we mean by making love, but don't tell anyone it's a secret hm? " Yoongi snickered at Taehyung's reply, giving him a thumbs up while Hoseok was two seconds away from causing a murder scene.

" Ohhhhh.. I don't care.. " Silence took control of the three before the older spoke.

" Like father like son " Yoongi got off the counter and walked over to his child, picking him up and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. Meanwhile Taehyung had a soft sincere smile plastered on his face, not only because of a lovable father and child moment..  
  
  


But because of a certain redhead's smile that shined like the stars in the sky, with no bright city lights to dim them.

It was like the sun opened its eager light to shine about him, only brightening his perfectly aligned teeth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Are you sure it's okay?.. "

" Yoongi it's fine.. It's just one day off " The redhead answered for the millionth time. He desired to take a day off from work, excitement wired his body like he was plugged into the mains. He felt like his brain was on fast-forward and there was no off switch. Hoseok had remembered the time when the blonde mentioned what he did for a living and anticipation filled the younger up for he never had seen Yoongi dominating the piano.

" Alright..Whatever you say redhead " Yoongi attempted to fight a smile as the younger held his hand, intertwining their fingers.

" Don't you think it's time to come up with nicknames? " Hoseok questioned, Earning a chuckle from the older.

" Just say you want me to call you baby. " Hoseok playfully punched the older's arm and shook his head. " I'm serious.. There's no way I'm calling you suga. "

" Why?.. I proved it to you didn't I.. Yesterday. "

" STOP RIGHT THERE. " Yoongi laughed hard at the younger's flustered face, but he knew he was right. Hoseok's red cheeks were enough proof for the blonde.

" Alright alright.. We're here anyway. " Yoongi informed the younger. He unlocked a door that lead them both to a spacious room, almost too spacious considering a single brown grand piano that existed in the center of that room.

Hoseok twirled slowly as he examined the room in awe. It was absolutely stunning. Nothing but enormous windows covering up every white wall. There were no curtains but the intention was reasonable considering how breathtaking the room appears with natural lighting. There were no furniture.. But only that grand piano that stood still in the middle of the room.

" Nice huh?.."

" It's.. Stunning.. The whole atmosphere is just.. Peaceful. " Hoseok spoke out in awe, still mesmerized by the surroundings.

" I got a question though- "

" Why only a piano?.." Yoongi beat the younger up to the question as the redhead nodded.

" You know how everyone gives their first love significance and importance ?.. Because after all it is their first love. The first person who introduced love itself to them.. It is a magnificent feeling.. To fall in love for the first time in your life. You end up cherishing it.. Protecting it.. Giving the love back to it as much as you can. This is me with the piano.. These keys.. The melody.. The sounds. They gave me a feeling I could never in a million years describe. It became the air that I breathe.. The one thing I survive on. It is the bridge that connects me with happiness. I never chose this just to make a living.. But because this.. This is my first love. The love that sends me into a world of my own when I play a melody.. Nothing and no one exists but me.. And my first love. "

" And adding anything beside that piano lessen its significance.. It is your way of respecting your first love.. " Hoseok added, feeling stunned over his lover's mind.

" Exactly. " Yoongi softly smiled as his eyes landed on his piano. It was truly as if he gazed at the love of his life.

" You wouldn't mind if I shared that world with you.. Would you? " Yoongi glanced back at the redhead as he heard those words and smiled, offering his hand which Hoseok gladly took.

They both seated themselves on the piano bench before Yoongi stole a soft kiss from the redhead's cheek.

" This one's for you. " Hoseok couldn't help but blush madly as he gazed at the older.. He found Yoongi quite charismatic as soon as he connects with a piano.

And Daegu boy began to play.

A symphony flowing out of him.

His heart kept time with the keys, pumping the music through his veins as he lost himself in the symphony. Eventually, losing all sense of everything except for the music. 

It was an unreal world to the redhead. Each sound swam through his cerebral cortex like a wakeful dream, the notes relaxing the younger, enabling the piece to call to his entire being. It wasn't  superfluous to him.. But a medicine delivered in the most divine way.

The more the older drowned in his world.. The more it dragged Hoseok along with him. Nothing and no one existed but two souls.. And a beautiful melody of a first love.

As beautiful as it was.. It had to end. Reality might've left a bitter taste if Yoongi was alone.. But not this time. He had his entire world in a form of a human being, and that is a blown away redhead seated next to him.

" You.. Weren't joking.. " Yoongi shot to the younger his gorgeous gummy smile and scratched his temple.

" Impressed?.. "

" Are you kidding me that's not even the right word for this " Hoseok frustratingly answered and it definitely wasn't considering what he just went through.

" Yoongi.. If I had to choose between heaven and this? I'd choose this every single time. " Yoongi's smile slowly died as he gazed at the redhead. 

" If I had to choose between the piano and you..   
  
  


I'd choose you every time." 

" Yoongi.. I- "   
  
  
  
  


" How sweet..  
  


Too bad.. But it's too sweet."

Building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of his stomach. Hoseok was unable to concentrate on anything else. His Heart started to beat harder and faster and adrenaline levels rose up. His Body was frozen.. Disbelief and shock firing up inside of him.

Hell begins, Hoseok thought as his eyes landed on her.    
Her that is hell itself.   
Hell that it's called..   
  


"Seung.. Rin?.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Sips on coffee-  


	14. A/N

Hi guys, Hope you're all doing okay <3 

I apologize for the delay currently having finals .. Which will end on june 13th. I promise to update after that daily till the story ends x Good luck to those who have finals x


	15. Trapped

 

 

  
  
" Seung.. Rin? "   
  
  


" It's been forever.. My love. " The redhead felt his stomach twist and not in a good way as he heard those words. Nothing but utter disgust evident on his face; However, that wasn't the only thing he felt this instant.. For everything had came back crashing down on him. The fights.. The heartbreaks. The misunderstandings.. And Haneul.

He felt weak and helpless in this moment. Forever the younger had in mind what would he do if he ever laid eyes on her again.. Would he blame her for it all? Guilt her? Argue? Shout out the words he always wanted to say?  All of those were possibilities in his mind, but one thing was missing this moment.

Courage.

The redhead wished to let it out everything that's bottled up in him.. He wanted to break free from this painful chains, strangling him at every attempt to escape, but something about Seung Rin had stopped him. Or rather.. Someone.

Haneul had resembled Seung Rin more than Hoseok.. And that had the redhead screaming for help inside. How could someone so pure, so beautiful, so precious be seen in this face of a devil.

" What a greeting .. " Seung rin chuckled awkwardly. " However I expected it.. I expected even worse considering what I've done to you.. " The instant Seung rin voiced out those words, the older restrained himself from letting hell break loose. He stared at the brilliant actress in front of him and Seung rin fought the urge to smirk. She felt his eyes burning through her but she couldn't care any less. She had her eyes locked on her target, with one goal and one goal only in her mind.

" Hobi- ah I'm.. sorry. " Seung rin said as her eyes began to sting with tears. She looked down as she continued the brilliant act.

" A habit hard to quit.. Hoseok-ah. I know the last person you wish to see is me .. I know deep down you're blaming me for it all. I know you resent me.. wish my disappearance. Even better wish It was me instead of han- " Hoseok noticed how hard she was holding back her tears. For some reason his heart began to soften.

" Haneul?.. " the redhead softly continued as she nodded.

" I know that.. I messed up. I know I was hell to you both. I wasn't a perfect wife.. Nor a perfect mother and It's killing me Hoseok-ah " Seung rin broke down in tears. The older noticed the look on the redhead's face and it shattered his heart. He knew Seung rin is close to her goal. He wished to stop it all. He wished he could snatch his lover and escape this hell. He wished a simple life, with a happy family that he thought he finally found. He wished for many things but.. In the end maybe it's just a beautiful dream that had to come to an end.

" _Keep your promise to me Yoongi.._

 ** _Or say goodbye to Haneul._** "

Yoongi clenched his jaw as he remembered her words. The words that fed off his courage. Without second thoughts, Yoongi grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door.

" Yoongi?.. " Hoseok softly called the older as Yoongi turned around. He forced a smile at the redhead and gulped hard, fighting back his tears.

The redhead looked back and forth between Seung rin and Yoongi. Trapped between a new hope and curiosity. He desired to take these few steps and embrace the one he loves however something pulls him back to the one that got away.. To Seung Rin.

He looked deeply into her glossy eyes. How he missed gazing into those beauties.. Somehow he noticed the sincerity in her eyes, the pleading, the regret.

But he wasn't the only who noticed that. Despite costing him a broken heart, Yoongi realized it was game over. The blonde made his way towards the redhead and cupped his face, giving the younger one last kiss. Hoseok felt confused, lost and afraid of an unknown reason. The salty taste of the older's tears contributed even more to his sudden feelings.

The redhead held on to the older as Yoongi slowly pulled away. He reached out to wipe away his tears however the older smiled softly and shook his head, creating more distance between the two. Hoseok stared at the older with pleading eyes, tugging on his mind to convince him that it's all okay. That there's nothing to fear. Nothing to lose.

No one to lose.

Yoongi made his way towards the door and voiced out a few words that froze the younger before he made his way out and towards his beloved one.

Hoseok stood still, his eyes locked on the door. He felt empty.. Numb.. Lost and confused. He wondered why the hell he's still standing here with the one that broke his heart. The one that killed him.

He took a step ahead before he felt a gentle grip on his wrist.

That's all it took for him to break down. And Seung Rin couldn't waste a second in grabbing any chance she gets.

Seung Rin got down on her knees and embraced the redhead tightly as he cried his eyes out. The words of the blonde piercing through his heart over and over again.

" _You were a beautiful dream. But it's time to wake up.. "_

" Why .. "

" Hobi.. "

" Why do everyone I love leave "

" .. I'm.. I'm here to stay. "

Hoseok felt trapped.

Weak and fragile.

Shattered.

Broken.

He wanted to heal.

He wanted to start over.

He desired oblivion.

He desired to forgive,

And forget.

" Don't.. Leave me. " Seung rin calmly nodded before she embraced him once again. Along with the soft comfort she provided, a twisted smirk appeared on her face with even more twisted thoughts in her mind.

_" Well done Seung Rin.. Well done. "_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Daddy?.. "

" Ah.. Haneul-ah.. Why are you awake baby?.." Yoongi said with a shaky voice. He had been crying his eyes out ever since he arrived home.

The little one headed towards his father. Without a single word, the child embraced his father, gently stroking his back as the older broke down in tears. He couldn't remain strong for his son.. Not this time.

" It's o-okay baby. Daddy's okay. It's gonna be okay. In the end it's what's best for us. What's best for you yeah??.. " the child pulled away and stared at his father in confusion which Yoongi had responded to with a simple nod.

" Yeah.. It's time to wake up. "


	16. Pretty Lies

" You've been staring at that thing for almost two hours now.. Come on the food's getting cold "   
  
" Hobi? .. "   
  
" Hobi! " The redhead flinched and broke out of his zone. Blinking a few times before the tired man rubbed his tired eyes, considering he had been staring at his phone screen for many hours now. Awaiting for hope, for a certain blonde perhaps.  
  
He sat up from the couch and turned around, eyes greeted with a soft smile plastered on the face of none other than..   
  
Seung Rin.   
  
  
It's been over 2 months since the redhead last seen the Yoongi .. As well as the first encounter with Seung Rin after the death of their son. Hoseok hadn't fully forgave her and that's more than reasonable.. Even to Seung Rin, yet the redhead certainly noticed the massive change in her. It was quite unreal if Hoseok would describe it. She was slowly reminding him of all the reasons why he fell in love with her in the first place. Whether it's by actions or words.. Seung Rin's act was definitely like an attracting rose. And Hoseok got too blinded by its beauty, he forgot the pain from its thorns.   
  
But in the end,   
  
Roses fall.   
  
And the thorns remain.  
  
However.. Even the return of his love of his life didn't stop the redhead from thinking about Yoongi. Why doesn't he answer his calls? Why doesn't he respond to his texts? Why did he look shattered? Where his last words truly the last? Hoseok was drowning in an ocean of unanswered questions.. But that one question that took control of his thoughts is,   
  
Why did he disappear?..   
  


The redhead knew he needed to move on sooner or later. He needed to focus on connecting the bond once again with Seung Rin, to let go of the past and focus on the future. Perhaps things would turn out well.. Perhaps he would marry his love once again, have a child, a happy family, a new life.. A new beginning.   
  
Easier said than done Hoseok thought.. For a beautiful blonde failed to escape his mind despite it all.   
  
" _You were a beautiful dream. But it's time to wake up.._  "   
  
  
" those pretty lies.. " Hoseok barely whispered as he stared in the distance, a soft smile slowly appearing on his face.   
  
" What?.. " Seung Rin confusingly questioned. She didn't receive an answer from the redhead and decided to brush it off however.. Something about that smile made her uneasy.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
" Hyung.. It's enough already don't you think?!!.. " Taehyung confessed to the redhead with frustration, having the two dropping by Yoongi's house on a daily basis, seeking for answers yet, no one ever answered the door, and that was more than enough for Taehyung to believe that they're.. Unwanted.   
  
Taehyung was never the type to jump to conclusions.. But it's his emotions that clouded him from thinking straight. It was reasonable for him to become like that.. He believed that Yoongi would surely bring the old Hoseok back, heal him, save him.. Never give up on him and most of all, never to break his heart. In the end it was all just pretty lies, a hideous sugar coated truth.  
  
Taehyung noticed how the older was staring at Yoongi's front door. It was the same look that he had ever since the blonde disappeared from his life. A look of hope, plead.. And pain. It had the younger slowly regretting his attitude towards Hoseok however.. He couldn't help but resent the pale man for crushing his dear friend. What once was gratitude, soon became hatred.   
  
" Hyung.. It's time to wake up.. There's no hope. I w-want answers too I need an end to this too but let's face it! we're.. Unwanted. " The younger voiced out with a shaky voice.   
  
  
" I just need a closure.. " Hoseok barely managed to speak up. Taehyung took a few steps closer and held his hand.   
  
" I know hyung.. Bu- " The younger suddenly got interrupted by a voice of an old lady greeting them. They both turned to face her and bowed. She seemed to be in her mid 60's, her short black hair was tied up and she had a pleasant face that somehow placed both of the boys at ease.   
  
" Anything I can help you with ma'am?.. " Taehyung was a bit surprised by the older's response.. He felt relieved and proud that his friend remains kind and strong despite it all.   
  
" Ah no but.. Maybe I can. " The boys looked at her confused which she responded to with a soft laugh.   
  
" I've been observing you both for over a week now.. Curiosity took control of me and I had to step in. I'm assuming you're looking for a young man with a child.. Blonde, pale skin- " Hoseok couldn't even let her finish. He nodded eagerly and approached her closer, his eyes pleading for this answer.   
  
" Oh dear.. I'm afraid he had moved out.. I believe it was.. one- no I think two months ago. " Taehyung froze in his place, his gaze softened at his dear friend as he stared at her with disbelief and sorrowfulness. He felt his heart shattering at the thought of what thoughts would be running through the redhead's mind right now, what emotions he must be feeling, what new answers he must be seeking.  
  
Taehyung felt the atmosphere getting tense, therefore desired to try and have a question of his own get answered.   
  
" I'm sorry to bother you with this but.. Is there any chance you might know where he moved to?.. " As expected..   
  
  
The old lady shook her head.   
  
The younger bowed to her and held on tightly to the redhead's hand, leading him back home.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
" Are you okay.. ? " Taehyung softly questioned.   
  
  
" I'm asking myself the same question. " Hoseok replied, forcing a small smile.   
  
" I'm still not pleased with Seung Rin being around. " The redhead sighed and tiredly looked at the younger.   
  
" Please Tae. Not right now.. We'll talk soon okay? " Taehyung couldn't look back at the older. He felt angry, disappointed, perhaps depressed everything they've worked hard for had shattered to pieces.   
  
But he wasn't going to give up.   
  
He wants to start collecting those broken pieces. Even if he gets hurt.   
  
" Take care, Hyung. " Taehyung smiled widely which earned him a confused look from the redhead. He turned around and made his way to his place, his smile never fading away.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
" Daddy I want that one! "   
  
" Isn't it too sugary for you?.. " the pale man pinched his son's nose and continued to grab more groceries.   
  
Till a voice stopped him.   
  
  
  
" Excuse me..   
  
  
 **Have you seen this man?**  "   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
uh yes. yes it's about to get intense.   
  
Also, since Seung Rin moved back with Hoseok, Taehyung had to move out. It's not Anyone's fault really.  
  
Stay healthy i love my readers <3   
  
  
  
  


 


	17. Save Me

" Look.. Not to bring that confidence down but do you realize how hard that can be??.. " The young man reasoned, his sight focused on the monitor in front of him, fingers roughly pressing on the keys of his LED keyboard.   
  
" I'm not an idiot Jungkookie. I can tell how hard this will be but.. I can't give up. There's something about Seung Rin that's still putting me on edge. " Taehyung confessed, dropping his weight on the sofa.   
  
" Hey.. I'm .. " Jungkook paused his game, turning his gaming chair around to face the frustrated older. The younger stood up and made his way towards Taehyung, straddling his lap.  
  
" I'm sorry.. Believe me I feel the same way. I get bad vibes every time she's around. So I'm.. with you on this. " Taehyung instantly sat up after hearing those words. He cupped Jungkook's face and gave the younger a passionate kiss on the lips before creating distance again.   
  


The younger couldn't help but smile as he saw his lover's wide box smile, fluttering his heart once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Babe? .. "   
  
The redhead hummed, his attention focused on his lock screen, still waiting for a lost hope.   
  
" Let's go out yeah?.. Maybe it'll cheer you up.. " Seung Rin suggested. She walked over to Hoseok and stopped in front of him before she bent down and gave the redhead a sweet kiss on his lips. In which Hoseok.. Didn't enthusiastically responded to.   
  
She knew his heart still belonged to the blonde, but she wouldn't give up just yet.   
  
Seung Rin straddled his lap, deepening the kiss more and more. She wrapped her arm around his neck and tugged on his hair tightly, rocking her sweetest spot back and forth on the redhead's lap. The twisted actress soon formed a smirk on her face as she felt Hoseok's hands gripping tightly on her waist.. 

 

  
Just to push her aside.   
  
" What.. What the hell Hoseok!! " Seung Rin responded with anger.   
  
" Do you think.. That I'm an idiot?.. " Hoseok calmly responded. His calm and cold state built fear inside of Seung Rin. Could he possibly had figured it out this easily? She thought.   
  
" I gave you a second chance. Yes that's a fact.. However.. Things can't return to the way they used to be, at least not yet. " Seung Rin felt the blood boil inside of her, she angrily stood up and faced the redhead.   
  
" For how long???? Just for how long are you going to keep this up?? For how long are you not going to touch me?? Forgive me???? Love me?? For how long !!!?? I'm trying my best here !!! I'm trying to fix what's broken but for how long are you going to push me away??!! I can't- "   
  
" Till my heart heals. " Hoseok stood up and took a few steps closer to Seung Rin. He wiped her tears away with a soft smile on his face and gently pecked her lips.   
  
" Just give me some time.. " The redhead softly spoke and left the house, leaving her behind. Confused, lost and frozen.   
  
But something got triggered inside of her..   
  
Something she thought she had lost.   
  
Made her almost allow oblivion to suck all the hatred inside of her.   
  
Perhaps warmth?.. No.   
  
Regret?.. Maybe.   
  
Love?..   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
" Kookie come on.. I thought you were the golden maknae. "   
  
" Even the golden maknae is a HUMAN. Let us rest! We've been looking for over 6 hours now! I'm hungry.. You better feed me or I'm breaking up with you. " Jungkook's frustration was somehow found adorable by the older. He sighed and embraced his lover tightly, feeling sorry for not taking better care of his bunny baby.   
  
" Okay.. Okay.. I'm sorry alright?.. " Jungkook pulled away and wrapped his arms around the older's neck, slowly nodding.   
  
" Sorry still doesn't bring me food baby. " The older chuckled and nodded, raising his hands up in defeat.   
  
" Ah, there's a convenient store over there.. I'll go get you some snacks. Won't be long " Jungkook nodded and waved as he watched Taehyung rush over to the store but the younger's voice suddenly stopped him.   
  
" Try to ask about him ! " Taehyung nodded and made his way inside. He knew he's going to get lectured by the younger for choosing to ask about Yoongi first but it was impossible for the older to forget about his goal.   
  
Taehyung went and asked every person existed in this store, from the customers to the cashiers. Helplessly showing them a photo on his phone to every one he encounters.   
  
  
Unexpectedly.. On the other side of the store..   
  


" Daddy I want that one! "

" Isn't it too sugary for you?.. " the pale man pinched his son's nose and continued to grab more groceries.

Till a voice stopped him.

" Excuse me..

  
 **Have you seen this man?**  "   
  
Yoongi froze. He knew exactly to whom that voice belonged to and he wasn't planning on checking twice; therefore, grabbed onto his son's hand and attempted to leave this nightmare.   
  
But this wasn't a dream. It was all real, and Yoongi had heard his name.   
  
" D-daddy?.. Isn't that Taehyung?.. " Yoongi couldn't voice out any word. He felt tongue tied, scared, and fearful of what's about to happen to him. He knew forgiveness won't come his way on a silver plate. He knew he had created a mess. He knew that he didn't only break his own heart but others' as well.   
  
" WHY???? " The older flinched from the sudden outburst of the younger. He begged himself inside not to break down. He felt burdened with all those secrets inside, but if he must feel that way for his son to be protected.. He'd do it forever.   
  
With a heavy heart the pale man turned around, facing the younger's eyes that matched his red watery ones.   
  
" Something I can never voice out. " Yoongi responded, but the younger wasn't satisfied with that answer. He angrily approached the older and grabbed him by his shirt, yelling out what he desired to be answered once again.   
  
" Taehyung-ah.. Let go. You're scaring Haneul. " Taehyung glanced at the child and instantly let go of the older.   
  
" Of all the people.. How could you d-do this to him?.." the younger said with a shaky voice. His strength had finally came to an end as he broke down in front of the blonde.   
  
" Taehyu- "   
  
" He was happy!!!!! He was finally HAPPY!!! Do you know how much we waited for that??? for a sincere smile on his smile???!!! for him to c-crave life and not to end it???!! DO YOU??? "   
  
Yoongi bit on his tongue hard.   
  
" You made that happen.. You actually made it h-happen and I.. Had hope. I had hope that someday.. You and Haneul would fill the gap Haneul and Seung rin had left behind.. Are you even- "   
  
" I'm fine. " Taehyung looked up, his tears blurring out his sight, Confused of what he just heard.  
  
" Wh-what?.. "   
  
Yoongi responded with a simple smile. He grabbed his son's hand and walked away.   
  
Taehyung didn't realize what was happening. His mind only focused on what he just heard, taking him back to a sudden memory with the pale man.   
  
  
 _" Hyung.. Are you blind?.. " The older chuckled and shook his head._  
  
" Take a closer look. " He replied.   
  
" I did for the millionth time! It says I'm Fine how ca- " Taehyung had his eyes widened, his jaw dropped the moment the older spun the paper around.   
  
" Holy.. Shit. " Yoongi laughed hard and agreed enthusiastically.   
  
" Holy shit indeed. "   
  
  
Rushing his way out, Taehyung looked around, his eyesight was blurry as he was passing by the crowd to find him but it was no use.   
  
He was already gone.   
  
" Yoongi.. "   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sorry for such an ugly cliffhanger ..  
  
If you do know about the Highight Reels you'll figure out what Yoongi meant in the last part. If not I suggest, perhaps a certain poster.   
  
  
Stay healthy!   
  
  
  
  


 


	18. The Truth Untold

  
  
  
" Rin ? "

" Hobi! You're h-home early.. " The exhausted pediatric chuckled and placed his belongings down before he tossed himself on the soft sofa, sinking into comfort.

" And you're acting weird today.. Something wrong ? " Seung Rin took a deep breath, calming herself down before seating herself beside the redhead.   
" Nope. Everything's okay .. " She responded.

But was it really?.. Ever since that day it was certain to say that she had changed. The brilliant actress wouldn't feel thrilled from a simple text from Hoseok. Or feel that her heart would burst out of her chest whenever he called, whenever he existed around her, or whenever he spoke. Something had indeed got triggered inside of her. Each day that passed by, her hatred slowly passed away, and the old Seung Rin was slowly returning.

" What's that smell?.. " The redhead smiled softly, his eyes were shut as he breathed in a familiar smell.

" Ah well.. Figured I'd cook you your favorite dishes since I assumed today you would be working longer than usual.."

The redhead peeked with one eye at the coy female. He had to blink twice to believe what his eyes landed on. It wasn't the Seung Rin he resented anymore, not that hideous nightmare he desired to forget. She didn't smell of toxic alcohol. She wasn't wearing clothes that barely covered her drug abused skin. She didn't have dark circles under her eyes. Her breath didn't stink of poisonous cigarettes.. Her eyes weren't sunken anymore.

But she was bright, pleasant to his sight. Her hair was tied up despite it being short; however, the redhead admired it that way because it brought out her beautiful round face. She was wearing a blue dirty apron which made Hoseok chuckle since she always creates a mess while cooking, but it was worth it every time because it always tasted good. Along with that apron she wore a smile.

A sincere smile.. It was more than enough for Hoseok to realize that in front of him was the Seung Rin he fell for, the one he might fall for once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" What the hell HOW?! "

" Sorry you suck? " Rin fired, giggling at the shocked expression on the redhead's face.

Hoseok glared at the amused female before he started tickling her. In response, the female attempted to stay still before she burst out in laughter. The joy however didn't last as they both heard the doorbell going off multiple times along with loud bangs on the door.

" Stay, I'll check the door, and I want another match! " Rin giggled and nodded before the redhead stood up and made his way towards the door. He opened it and his smile instantly dropped.

It was Taehyung but.. He looked troubled. He had dark circles under his eyes and he was panting. Hoseok knew something bad had happened. He could always tell from his eyes.

" Tae?.. What's wrong?.. Tell-"

" Hyung we need to talk. " Taehyung interrupted impatiently, he barged his way in and felt sick to his stomach when he witnessed Seung Rin inside.

" ... Alone. " the younger added, his jaw clenching.

" Tae she's not goi- "

" Please!! " The younger pleaded, his eyes were stinging with tears and Hoseok knew it was something serious. He took his friend upstairs inside his room and away from the confused female.

" You're worrying me. What the hell is going on??? " Hoseok frustratingly questioned the younger.

" It's Yoongi. "

The name was more than enough to freeze Hoseok in his place. He said nothing but the younger knew what the redhead must be thinking. What he must be feeling.

" You need to sit down for this. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Save him.. ? from what exactly?? " Hoseok was now pacing back and forth in his room. Panic and confusion killing him slowly on the inside after hearing all about the last encounter between the younger and the pale man.

" More like from whom.. " Taehyung scoffed. He was for some reason certain that Seung Rin had a part in this.

" What is that supposed to mean?.. " Hoseok said. Stopping his tracks and glaring at the younger. 

" Come on hyung.. I know you can't be this naive. " Taehyung coldly responded.

" Cut to the chase I'm in no mood to guess " the redhead was now sweating, his fists clenched as he impatiently waited for clarity.

" It's her.. Seung Rin is what Yoongi is fea- "

" ENOUGH ALREADY! " Taehyung flinched, his eyes widened at his friend's sudden behavior.

" Enough about Seung Rin I can no longer allow you to disrespect her- "

" DISRESPECT HER? I SUDDENLY CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE? Have you fucking forgot what she had done to you???? Have you forgotten about the pain??? The late nights you spent with me crying your eyes out about her??? The times where you bit on my shoulder because IT FUCKING HURT YOU??? Have you forgotten about.. About Han- "

" Shut up.. "

" No. I'm tired of this Hyung.. So are you "

" Enough. "

" Let's reveal it shall we???.. "

" Taehyung I said enough "

" Let's let it out hyung !!! "

" .. Don't "

" The truth untold. "

" Stop "

" How can I?.. After all.   
  


I exist in your mind. " 

**_-July 5th, 2017._ **   
  


_" how long was I out there .. " hoseok embarrassingly asked, same guilt crushing him down for zoning out with his friend's presence almost every time._

_" ah don't worry about it, somehow I knew you'd zone out so this time i stayed silent.. nothing to feel guilty off " he smiled once again, assuring the older._

_" Hey.. Look at that guy.. " A young man pointed at the redhead, his friend following its direction with his eyes._

_" What the hell.. "_

**_-July 20th, 2017._ **   
  


_Yoongi was too engrossed in a certain K-drama series, observing an actor's scene as he mumbled,_

_" He sure is.."_

_" Childish? "_

_" Was gonna say hilarious the dude seems fun to hang with "_

_" I mean.. Taehyung is- "_

_"  Wait.. Taehyung?.. "_

_" Uh yeah?.. The guy over there Yoongi-ah. You okay? "_

_" H-huh? yeah.. Yeah I'm.. I'm okay Hobi-ah. "_

 

 

" I'm just a  **memory**. " 

 

 

_"Okay what did you guys do" Hoseok asked in curiosity. His eyebrows met in confusion as he received no answer from the two but instead, got blindfolded by the older._

_"Wh-what th-"_

_The child pulled on his father's sleeve, catching his attention._

_"Daddy?.. Who- "_

_" Haneul-ah.. Baby just.. Play along. "  Yoongi whispered._

 

 

" A part of **you**. "

 

 

 

**_-Agust 11th, 2017._ **   
  


_"I'LL GET IT_. _"_

_"TAEHYUNG NO." Hoseok shouted. stuffing his face into the cushion in frustration as the younger rushed to get the door._

_Behind the door waiting. A pale man felt his heart shattering._

 

_" Hobi.. When will you wake up.. "_

 

 

" Someone you've  **lost.**  " 

 

 

 

**_-Agust 12th, 2017._ **

_" Congratulations yes we fuc- "_

_" YOONGI. "_

_" Made love?.. " Yoongi chuckled as the redhead blushed madly.. The blonde took his opportunity to signal his child. With a simple nod, the child spoke._

_" Uncle Tae.. What does make love mean? "_   
  


 

 

"  **Gone**. "  
  


 

 

**_-October 16th, 2017._ **

_" Anything I can help you with ma'am?.. " Taehyung was a bit surprised by the older's response.. He felt relieved and proud that his friend remains kind and strong despite it all._

_Was he just.._ **_Ah.._ **

_Oh this poor soul.. I see.._

_" Ah no but.. Maybe I can. " The boys looked at her confused which she responded to with a soft laugh._

_" I've been observing you..._ **both** _for over a week now.. Curiosity took control of me and I had to step in. I'm assuming you're looking for a young man with a child.. Blonde, pale skin- " Hoseok couldn't even let her finish. He nodded eagerly and approached her closer, his eyes pleading for this answer._

 

 

 

" The  **nightmare**  you can't seem to wake up from. "  
  


 

 

 

**_-October 18th, 2017._ **   
  


_" Excuse me_..

**_Have you seen this man?_ ** _"_

_Yoongi froze. He knew exactly to whom that voice belonged to and he wasn't planning on checking twice; therefore, grabbed onto his son's hand and attempted to leave this nightmare._

_But this wasn't a dream. It was all real. And Yoongi had heard his name._

_" D-daddy?.. Isn't that .._

**_Hobi hyung?.. "_ **

**_The blonde softly smiled at his child and shook his head. The child soon picking up to realize what he must do._ **

 

 

" I'm.. "

 

 

**_-September 3rd, 2015._ **

_" I won't be long dad.. " Hoseok spoke out, exiting the car and heading inside the cemetery._

_He made his way deep inside. The cold wind unpleasantly blew into his skin. Chilling his skin beneath. He felt as if he was walking a marathon. It felt never ending. Unreal. Till his sorrowful eyes landed on a certain name, carved on the grave stone._

_" We meet again.._

**_Kim Taehyung._ ** _"_   
  
  
  
  
  


_"_ The truth Untold. _"_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Before u all ask for my address to kill me, yes this is one of the plot twists I planned   
I'm sorry if this felt unpleasant to you but I cant and won't change it. Please do not take it personally this is after all just a FICTION. I love the boys dearly, and all I want is to surprise people with my writing (hoping at least). The story will have its happy moments don't worry 

let me clear it out for those who are still lost

Kim taehyung was indeed hoseok's childhood friend, He was his only friend that helped him through his depression, he was the reason that "sunshine hobi" existed, that is until he found seung rin and had haneul. His death affected Hoseok badly, causing him to hallucinate Taehyung's existence. Everyone soon realized it and played along for the sake of Hoseok. Even seung rin and yoongi, how? seung rin was told by hoseok's parents and yoongi was told by seung rin in the mid of her discussion or "deal" with him. No one wished to hurt him with the truth, they all wanted him someday to "wake up" on his own.

now every interaction you've seen between taehyung and the others is just an illusion, probably a way for me to distract you all till I drop the plot twist, so basically none of that existed but only Hoseok's hallucinations which yoongi and haneul and everyone else decided to play along with. Everything else that didn't include taehyung HAPPENED. the last parts of this chap is what actually happened and u can tell

I hope i made it clear, if not please ask me anything.   
I'm sorry again and I hope you enjoy this chap and brace yourself for the upcoming ones.

 

P.S: for those who get confused, Italic font -> memories or Inner dialog, in this chapter, the rest that was in mid of those memories were tae's end of the "convo" 


	19. Awake

  
**_-October 18th, 2017._ **   
  


_" Excuse me.._

**_Have you seen this man?_ ** _"_

_Yoongi froze. He knew exactly to whom that voice belonged to and he wasn't planning on checking twice; therefore, grabbed onto his son's hand and attempted to leave this nightmare._

_But this wasn't a dream. It was all real. And Yoongi had heard his name._

_" D-daddy?.. Isn't that .._

**_Hobi hyung?.. "_ **

_Yoongi couldn't voice out any word. He felt tongue tied. Scared. Fearful of what's about to happen to him. He knew forgiveness won't come his way on a silver plate. He knew he had created a mess. Knew that he didn't only break his own heart but others as well._

_" WHY???? " The older flinched from the sudden outburst of the younger. He begged himself inside not to break down. He felt burdened with all those secrets inside. But if he must feel that way for his son to be protected.. He'd do it forever._

_With a heavy heart the pale man turned around, facing the younger's eyes that matched his red watery ones._

_" Something I can never voice out. " Yoongi responded. But The redhead wasn't satisfied with that answer. He angrily approached the older and grabbed him by his shirt, yelling out what he desired to be answered once again._

_" Let go. You're scaring Haneul.. " Hoseok glanced at the child and instantly let go of the older._

_" Of all the people.. How could you d-do this to him?.." the younger said with a shaky voice. His strength had finally came to an end as he broke down in front of the blonde._

_Him?.._

_Wake up already.. hobi-ah.._

_" Taehyu- "_

_" He was happy!!!!! He was finally HAPPY!!! Do you know how much we waited for that??? for a sincere smile on his smile???!!! for him to c-crave life and not to end it???!! D-DO YOU??? "_

_Yoongi bit on his tongue hard._

_" You made that happen.. You actually made it h-happen and I.. Had hope. I had hope that someday.. You and Haneul would fill the gap Haneul had left behind.. Are you even- "_

_" I'm fine. " Hoseok looked up, his tears blurring out his sight, Confused of what he just heard._

_" Wh-what?.. "_

_Yoongi responded with a simple smile. He grabbed his son's hand and walked away._

_The redhead didn't realize what was happening. His mind only focused on what he just heard, taking him to further confusion. He took off attempting to find his answer but something stopped him._

_He saw Taehyung's reflection staring back at him on the glass wall. For a second he could've sworn the younger smiled at him before it changed to the redhead's reflection in a blink of an eye. That's when it all clicked to the redhead. He realized what he just did unconsciously. He realized what he has been doing all those years. He felt pathetic.. Sick.. Weak. Mostly insane for his unconscious behavior, but what he realized the most is that,_

_He definitely needed help._

_He definitely needed to wake up._

_Rushing his way out, The redhead looked around, his eyesight was blurry as he was passing by the crowd to find the older but it was no use._

_He was already gone. Yet someone, not so far away. Witnessed it all._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

" Are you sure that's it?.. "

" Yes I'm sure. Can I leave now. " Seung rin took a sip of her coffee cup, her eyes never left the young man seated across the table from her. Having heard every detail that happened at the market between Yoongi and Hoseok from the one she sent to observe the redhead. She placed her cup down and simply nodded. The man didn't waste any second, he grabbed his jacket and stood up, facing away to leave this hell hole.

" But. " the man stopped, clenching his jaw. He turned around, the sight of Seung Rin bringing nothing but disgust and sickness.   
  


" If I find out any missing detail you've hidden from me.. I won't hesitate to harm her, Jungkook. "

With that being said, Jungkook took off with a heavy heart. He never wanted to spy on Hoseok. He never wanted to obey Seung rin. It made him sick to his stomach but if that's what takes for him to keep his love safe, he must go on.

He lost the love of his life once.

He can't lose it again.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
" Hobi?.. Is that you? " Seung Rin placed the dinner plates down on the table before she made her way to the front door after hearing it slam shut.   
  
" Honey you look.. Exhausted.. come on I made you dinner " The redhead was numbly staring at the ground. His eyes were swollen, hair messed up and a few cuts evident on the side of his face. Seung Rin had an idea why of course. She missed out on no details, yet it's the cuts that bothered her. She gently reached out for his cheek when he suddenly smacked her hand away and headed towards his room in silence, leaving her behind in complete confusion and shock.  
  
Hoseok made sure to lock the door behind him. He wanted no one and nothing at this point. Not even Yoongi came across his mind. Hoseok spent the entire night remembering his foolish behaviors. He realized how must he had seemed pathetic and weak in front of everyone whenever he spoke to his hallucinations, breaking him down in never ending tears. His heart however ached more over his gone friend.   
  
The night passed by like the sweetest dream, undesired to be forgotten. Hoseok managed to pull some strength to lift his body up and looked out the window, welcomed by the sunrise. He stared into the rising sun, its rays burning his swollen eyes.. But he couldn't help it. His eyes were glued to the beautiful blues and pinks blurred in a silver mist, creating a pleasing view to his eyes. Despite all the grief, all the sadness and pain he was drowning in, thy sky remained beautiful and powerful, and so should he.  
  
In the midst of admiring nature's beauty, Hoseok heard soft knocks on his door, followed by a familiar sound.   
  
" Hyung?.. "   
  
Hoseok sighed and rubbed his eyes, he headed towards the door and unlocked it. The younger wasted no time in opening it, almost knocking the poor redhead down.   
  
" Yah Jungkook! Easy. " Jungkook smiled sheepishly and bowed. He went further inside and took a seat on the bed, facing the older as he seated himself on the sofa.   
  
" Hyung.. How you've been?.. " The younger could tell the answer already with a single glance at Hoseok. He had witnessed a lot after all.. The younger held on to his stomach, feeling nauseous for holding such poisonous secret within him.   
  


Hoseok noticed how odd Jungkook was behaving. Jungkook wasn't the nervous type, he was a normal human, like everyone else had his share of pain and hardships but he'd always find a way to brush them off for his sake. It wasn't the same case this time. It seemed as if Jungkook has the weight of the world on his shoulders to the older.   
  
" You.. You okay Jungkook?.. " Hoseok questioned with concern.   
  
" H-huh?.. I'm fine hyung! Just a stomach ache " Hoseok simply nodded, slightly unconvinced but decided to ask later.   
  
" So why are you here ?.. " Jungkook was taken aback from the sudden question. He glanced up and into the older's eyes, guilt crushing him inside. The last time Jungkook had seen the redhead was at Taehyung's funeral. Everyone needed time to heal from such tragedy. Losing Taehyung was losing a part from everyone who were close to him. It was hard to fill up the empty hearts he left behind.   
  
The younger struggled with an answer, his eyes stinged with tears and he was shaking. The apology he practiced for was now a bunch of words scattered in his mind. 

" It's okay. " 

  
Jungkook snapped his head up, questionably looking at the older.   
  
Hoseok softly smiled and stood up, making his way towards the younger and took a seat beside him, tossing his arm around Jungkook's shoulder.   
  
" We all needed time to heal. And two broken hearts can't heal each other.. "   
  
Jungkook bit hard on his bottom lip, his tears streaming down his cheeks.   
  
" No, I should've been there for you!! I should've helped you just like you've tried to help me!! I should've answered your calls I should've stayed beside you but I was dying I was barely able to save myself nonetheless save others I wanted to forget it all I wanted it to be just a fucking nightmare that I would wake up and find him in my arms again I miss him I f-fucking m-miss him and I can't b-breathe anymore hyung I can't " Hoseok couldn't help but have his heart crushed at his friend choking on his tears as he barely voiced out those words, but words were no longer needed at this moment. The older pulled Jungkook into a tight embrace, holding on to him as the younger cried his eyes out, letting it all out.  
  
The day passed on very slowly. The two had their share of conversations, small or big, it put them at ease and somehow the world was slowly gaining its colors once again. They spent their time rewinding every pleasant memory they shared together with Taehyung. It brought the older to tears as he confessed his new realization of his hallucinations; however, felt at ease when Jungkook comforted him.    
  


Despite Haneul being a sensitive topic to talk about, Hoseok willingly allowed himself as well as the younger to reminisce about the child. 

  
Jungkook was still afraid to share his secret, to confess his sin to the older. His curiosity over Yoongi distracted the younger.. He tried to approach his answer by asking Hoseok if there were any new changes in his life. He was beyond lucky that the redhead had mentioned Yoongi, sharing every moment he had with the pale man. When Hoseok spoke out about the recent event, Jungkook felt nauseous again. He knew every word the older voiced out, worsening his state even more. He knew he couldn't stay any longer and he wasn't planning to.  
  
" H-hyung I don't feel so good.. I'll head home for now, but I'll give you a call okay?.. "   
  
Hoseok felt concerned over his friend, he offered him a ride home but the younger kindly declined. He stood up and made his way to the door, grabbing the door handle. Jungkook stared at it.. Wondering if he should say it or not. He took a deep breath and turned around, smiling softly at the redhead.   
  
" By the way hyung.. I know things might be confusing.. Stressful to figure out but.. It's always good to look at things.. From a different angle. You're awake now.. Don't lose hope. " Hoseok seemed to have zoned out after hearing those words which left the younger hopeful that he might receive the hint. The answer.   
  
Jungkook found his way out, granting Seung Rin a smirk before he was out of sight.   
  
" Different.. angle?.. "   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yoongi stood frozen at the door,  the surprise protecting him until it shattered like glass. I guess you could call it shock, disbelief, denial even. For he never expected this person to find him.. To show up at his door. Whether it was a dream or reality, it was happening.   
  
" .... Hoseok? "   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    
  
If anything is unclear to you for this chap or the previous, don't hesitate to comment. I'd love to have active readers x stay healthy.  
  
  
 


	20. Answer

" Different.. angle ? .. ugh this isn't helping at all.. "   
  
  
_" You're awake now.. Don't lose hope. "_  
  
  
" I have to find him. " Despite the redhead's mind flooding with questions and his depression sucking his energy down, he had a slight of hope for clarity. And he was going to hold on to it as tight as he could. He needed answers.. Perhaps a closure.   
  
Grabbing his belongings along with his motivation, Hoseok left his place to pursue his answer.   
  
But he wasn't the only one seeking an answer.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
" Excuse me sir.. Have you seen this man?.." The redhead felt frustrated as the stranger shook his head. The day is coming to an end and Hoseok was looking for the pale man everywhere, searching every block and asking countless of people about his whereabouts, but it was no use, he was nowhere to be seen. All this searching sucked his energy dry; therefore,  decided to take a break before heading back home.   
  
To his luck, he found a near  cafe. It wasn't special but it was small and cozy, giving out a home-feeling vibes. It was perfect and satisfying for the redhead. The younger walked in, the door bell ringing, indicating the workers of customers arrival. Hoseok wasn't that surprised the fact that it was empty, it was after all getting late. He took a seat and waited for someone to serve him. To his surprise.. Someone very familiar approached him.   
  
" Oh my.. Hello dear ! We meet again " The old lady spoke with a joyful tone. Hoseok was very surprised to see her again after their encounter at Yoongi's neighborhood.   
  
The redhead stood up and bowed to her before she gestured for him to sit down, taking a seat across the table herself.   
  
" I forgot.. What can I serve you ? "   
  
" Ah any cold beverage would be lovely at this point.. " The old lady smiled and gestured for a young man to come. He quickly jotted the order down of a cup of iced coffee and left.   
  
" Dear.. I can sense you're troubled.. Have you not found your friend yet?..   
" Hoseok glanced up at her and nodded, but that wasn't the only thing that bothered him.   
  
" My last encounter with him went confusing.. I was shouting out my heavy feelings but.. What he responded with can't escape my thoughts. He just responded with.. I'm Okay, and that's it.. He just left. I mentioned it to another friend and he just.. Told me to see things from a different angle. So what the hell is this? A code ? I'm losing my mind.. " Hoseok noticed how she zoned out for a bit.   
  
" I'm Fine.. Well it's alien talk if you reverse the letters so.. What if you should literally.. Look at it from a different angle. " The redhead rubbed his temple, feeling even more confused. She quickly grabbed his attention however as she got up and went behind the counter, grabbing a pen and a paper before she headed back and placed it on the table, Instantly writing something down and sliding the paper towards the redhead.   
  
" Does anything stand out to you?.. " She said.   
  
Hoseok took a closer look. It didn't take much time before the redhead had his jaw dropping and his eyes widening. It was a code after all he thought, but that didn't answer his question. It only flooded his mind with more, but he has to find the answers on his own this time.  
  
" Honestly.. Thank you. " Hoseok sincerely spoke out. The old lady simply nodded and smiled, Hoseok returning the gesture but it soon faded away as he recalled a memory.  
  
" That day.. When I was looking for him .. I know you were probably .. Confused .. I probably freaked you out.. Made you think that I'm just a cra- " The old lady flicked the redhead's forehead. She flipped from joyous to angry and it shocked the younger as he rubbed on his forehead.   
  
" Wh-what "   
  
" SHAME ON YOU. Shame on you for assuming this! Shame on you for looking down at yourself! Shame on you for believing that your actions were beyond sane.. I might be old but I'm no fool. I've lived through grief and hardships enough to understand you.. Everyone deals with grief in different ways, ways that could ease up their emotions, their thoughts, Their lives. There's nothing to be ashamed of do you hear me? If that's what it took for you to survive then don't you ever regret it. Don't ever feel like you must apologize for such behavior. You're alive .. You're awake. You're strong when most people didn't follow the same path! .. Son.. Stop and take a look around you. Look at the people who are still around you, who still love you. Yesterday is history.. Stop looking behind you and start making beautiful memories. Fight your pain even if you're at your weakest point. Life is unfair but that doesn't mean we should stand still and let it control us, control our fate.. Remember that NOBODY owns you. Nobody controls your life. It's you. It's only you son. So give yourself a tap on the shoulder.. And remember.   
  
Don't you ever lose hope. Fight for it all. "   
  
Hoseok was speechless at this moment. He didn't even realize tears were streaming down his face. It's like fate had lead him to this place.. Just to hear those words. To give him a push towards his goal, to give him hope.   
  
" One iced coffee fo- oh I'm. did I- "   
  
" GET BACK TO WORK. " The old lady shouted and snatched the iced coffee from the tray, laughing at the worker who stumbled his way back.   
  
" Tough old lady aren't you " Hoseok chuckled, wiping away his tears as he stared at his coffee cup.  
  
" I have to, I'm the owner. About your friend.. " Hoseok froze in his place, his head snapped up as his eyes pleaded for more words.  
  
" It happened a few days ago. A young man came at our neighborhood, specifically to your friend's house. I figured he was looking for him as well but.. He unlocked the house and went in. Apparently your friend forgot some of his belonging and asked this man to bring them. "   
  
" And.. ? "   
  
" I remembered you and approached him, asking him for your friend's location.. He hesitated at first and asked me why. I used to send your friend brownies whenever I had the time to make them so I used that excuse, but I could still sense his hesitation .. Till he offered me the location of the area he lives in, not the exact house. It was satisfying for me but I wished you'd come my way. This type of information could be worth more than gold for you, but look at that. Fate brought you to me " Hoseok couldn't help but flash his widest smile. It made the old lady giggle at his cute excitement. She gladly shared the location and Hoseok had left with relief settling his heart and mind.   
  
The redhead arrived at the location and stepped out of his car. It was an extremely eye pleasing neighborhood. There weren't many houses and Hoseok felt lucky for that. From door to door, the redhead kept looking for the pale man. Many thoughts went through his mind as he approached the last house..   
  
_What if he found someone else?.._  
  
_What if he moved away again.. Maybe that's why he collected his last belongings.._  
  
_What if he doesn't want to see me again.._  
  
It all came down to this moment.   
  
His shaky hand reached out for the doorbell button, pressing it as he waited with a racing heartbeat.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  


  Yoongi stood frozen at the door, the surprise protecting him until it shattered like glass. I guess you could call it shock, disbelief, denial even. For he never expected this person to find him.. To show up at his door. Whether it was a dream or reality, it was happening.   
  
" .... Hoseok? "   
  
  
The redhead stared deeply into the older's eyes, eyes stinging with tears. Yoongi was like his home.. And he felt homesick. All those emotions that ran through his mind.. Hatred, confusion, broken, emptiness. All the questions he desired answers for.. It all vanished the moment he laid eyes on his lost lover once again.   
  
Yoongi panicked as he noticed the redhead's tears streaming down his face, his body ached to embrace him but he couldn't.. Till the younger pulled him roughly into a warm embrace, crying into the older's shoulder.   
  
" Yoongi.. I'm awake. " Those words pierced through Yoongi's heart, clouding his fears and hesitations. The blonde silently shed tears, smiling softly as he embraced the younger just as tight. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
" Here.. " Yoongi placed a warm cup of tea on the table in front of the redhead and took a seat beside him. The redhead thanked him yet couldn't look him in the eyes. It was time.   
  
" Truth.. " Hoseok spoke with a soft tone.   
  
" I can't reveal- "   
  
" Yoongi please!!! .. I'm losing my mind!! I can't sleep I can't live !! All i think about is you.. Everyday I drown deep in my thoughts wondering what the hell did I ever do wrong.. What mistakes have I unconsciously made.. Why did you leave???! Just tell me!! "   
  
" ... Because- "   
  
  
  
  
" Because truth hurts.

 

Doesn't it, honey.. " The devil spoke again. 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Ugly cliffhanger again but, It's for the next big chapter. Things will finally become clear soon.   
  
  
  
  



	21. Broken

 

 

 

**_Two years later._ **

 

" Jungkookie! "   
  
  
" Mom not so roughly.. " Jungkook chuckled and embraced back his dearest mother, sinking into her scent that he missed very badly.   


  " You know, you're the only one I know that gives me indefinite hugs." The younger said.

His mom snickered, "Where else would I rather be?" 

In that moment the arms squeezed a fraction tighter and Jungkook breathed more slowly, his body melting into his mom's as every muscle lost its tension to the spring air. It was the only gesture that could out his mind at ease, off and away from all those bad memories. 

" It's been two years .. "   
  
  
Jungkook sighed and pulled away, stroking her cheek as he forced on a smile.

 

 _Two years indeed.._  
  
Time sure flies.  
  
Hyung.. Are you even okay?

  
  
  
  
" Jungkook.. Are you.. okay.. Now?.. " 

 

 _How can I be.._  
  
_When I've lost it all._  
  
_But.._

  
" .. I have to be. "

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
" Hobi.. "   
  
" Mmmmm.. "   
  
" Hobiiiii. "  
  
" Hmmm.. " 

" It's nighttime already. Just for how long are you going to sleep! "

" Mmmm? " 

" Fine I'll just kiss Mickey instead- "   
  
" I'm awake! " Hoseok sprung up, half awake, but soon collapsed back down which caused the younger to laugh hard at his state.   
  
The older attempted to sit up again, but the blonde who was straddling his lap pushed him back and bent over, resting his cheek against Hoseok's bare chest.   
  
" It's okay.. Just hold me.. "   
  
Hoseok softly smiled as his hands traveled to the blonde's back, gently stroking it before he pecked his head.   
  
  
" You know.. You're killing me with the cuteness here.. Don't you, 

 

.. 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _ **4 months ago**_  

" Hyung?.. Sorry for interrupting practice! Can I just inform you of one thing? it won't take lon- " 

 

" Everyone take five. I'll be back. " Hoseok announced before he picked up his towel, drying up his sweat as he made his way outside the dance studio room.. One of many.   
  
Hoseok indeed fulfilled his second dream. His hard work over the past year paid off very well for he managed to own one of the most popular dance studios in Gwangju, as well as becoming one of the best dancing teachers existing in this city. A sacrifice had to be made of course.. And an intention of not starting a new page.. But to burn down the entire book.   
  
_" **I gave you my life and I never take back a gift..  because in this life honesty and integrity mean so much to me!!!! The words I gave you were my bond not because I felt chained.. But because I honored you.. loved you more than everything that I am!!!  This..  this god damn pain.. it fucking hurts to the point that .. it cut to the core of who I AM!**  ..  "  _

 

_That's right.._

 

 _Burnt **it**  all down.. _  
  
  
" Uh.. Hyung? "   
  
  
" Ah.. Sorry siwoon-ah.. What's the issue here? " Hoseok forced a smile at the younger.   
  
" No issues at all.. Just needed to inform you that a promising new student had arrived! " Siwoon enthusiastically stated.   
  
" He graduated from Busan High School of Arts in the modern dance department, the top of his class in fact! I still can't believe he chose us to gain more experience.. " He added, earning the older's curiosity.   
  
" I see.. So he's a rare gem? " Hoseok smiled at Siwoon as the younger eagerly nodded.   
  
" And his name is?.. "    
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
.. Park Jimin " 

The blonde nodded and giggled. It softened the room, as if his gentle sound could make the fires burn warmer. He pulled himself away, slowly and slightly from his lover just to shift closer in contact with his neck. Hoseok felt a hot breath on his neck, then the tender brush of the younger's plump wet lips, burning as they made contact with his neck. His hand ran through Jimin's hair, as the kisses became harder and more urgent. Another hand slid around the blonde's waist, and pressed him closer to Hoseok's body.. But a few moments of lust soon turned to desperate affection as the two embraced each other tightly. Despite the heaviness in Jimin's heart, it fluttered at the feeling of his body pressed against the older's. He sunk into the warmth of his chest, a soft smile appearing at the sound of his heartbeat, a melody he survived on.

 

" I'm.. Sorry Jiminah.. " Hoseok stroke the younger's back and heaved a sigh, his guilt clenching his heart inside.   
  
" Don't be.. I understand, and I'm in no rush either I just.. Wish you'd trust me enough to count on me.. To let your pain out, whether to me or on me I don't care.. I just wish you'd shift that weight onto my own shoulders.. "  Jimin sat up, his eyes locked with the older's as he stroke his cheek.   
  
" That's not it " Hoseok sighed.   
  
" I do trust you. I just need.. Time. " He added, smiling at him, hoping to lighten the burden Jimin carries on himself. Then something amazing happens, like a light turning on in a dark room, his eyes lighten, and he smiles back.  
  
  
" Time is what you'll get. "   
  
_I'm sorry Jimin.. For as selfish as it may seem,_

_I simply can't.._

_seem to.._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_  
  
" .. Move on. "   
  
" Again with this.. You think I can either?.. We have no choice hyung.. We're unwanted. Unneeded. You really believe he's going to forgive us that easily? that a simple apology would fix everything? It's over! He left!! He moved on!!! Even if there's hope we don't know where the hell he is!!!  We've lost it ALL- hah.. no. At least you still have Haneul. I lost.. I've l-lost.. " Jungkook felt his eyes stinging with tears as he stared down with a blurry sight at his coffee cup. He shuts down his eyes as the tears roll down his cheeks, the whispers and judging looks of those surrounding him gradually fade away.. Replaced with nothing but the voices who shattered his core.   


 

  
_**" I'm.. Cold.. "** _

 

_**  
" You WILL PAY FOR THIS !!! "** _

 

_**  
" Just get.. get out of my sight.. "** _

 

_**  
" I trusted YOU!!! "** _

 

_**  
" You ruined it all.. "** _

 

_**  
" J-jungkook.. "** _

 

_**  
" I WARNED YOU!!! "** _

 

_**  
" JUNGKOOK MOVE! "** _

 

_**  
" .. I'm sorry "** _

 

_Before I met you my heart was soft.._

 

 _With you it became strong and vibrant.._  
  
  
  
_Now it is..  simply broken._  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*many months hiatus* uh, yeah.   
  
Dw, in the next chap I'll clear what happened 2 years ago out.   
  
  
I needed a schedule for this, so I'll be posting a new chapter every 2 or 3 days.. Stay healthy x

 

 

 

 

 

 


	22. A/N

Gonna start editing the prev chapters, story remains the same just need to fix vocab/grammar so no need to re-read  
  
  
  



	23. Hiraeth

**" But.. You and I.. We're both- "  
  
" So what?.. "   
  
  
" .. Why? "**

 

**" Don't worry.. love.  
Because all of this is not coincidence,  
We're completely different..  
Because we've found our destiny. "  **

 

_You were right.. But did it have to end so soon?.._

_Did you have to leave.. So soon?.._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 **_December 18th, 2013  
_ ** **_School Of Performing Arts, Seoul_ **

 

" So soon? Again?! " 

  
" Y-yeah.. I'm sorry Jihye noona.. "   
  
" Jungkook it's almost the end of the semester.. You've turned us down ever since it started.. I would've at least understood why but you never bothered telling us why.. Instead you just aroused our suspicions.. Are you okay Jungkook-ah?.. Do you need help???.. Is someone causing you any trouble??! Is someone bullying you??! " Jihye stood dumbfounded as she noticed the younger chuckling. The reaction soon died as she gifted Jungkook a hard flick on the forehead, having the young boy slightly whimpering in pain as he rubbed his red forehead.  
  
" Calm down.. Nothing is wrong noona I just.. Can't let you know yet. I'm just not brave enough to tell you right now.. It's really a major thing for me and only you who understands how hard it can be to blurt that out. Again.. It's nothing dangerous so don't worry about me okay? " Jungkook assured her, relieved as he heard her sighing in defeat.   
  
" Okay.. I guess I over-worried. Still.. You know you can talk to me whenever you need me, right? "   
  
Jungkook smiled widely, his eyes squinting in which Jihye found the most adorable view on planet. She felt a blush creep upon her cheeks as she observed him nodding.   
  
" Ah.. Noona I need to go I'm really late! " He said as he observed his watch. Jungkook grabbed his backpack from the ground and rushed outside the building and away from the school premises.   
  
_Did I miss him already?..  
_  
_What was he wearing again .._  
  
_Idiot.. I never pay attention to that do I.._  
  
_I can't be blamed._  
  
_Your face is all I see.. There's something about that smile of yours hyung.._  
  
_How come it's all I think about.. I'm really going ins- Hyung??_  
  
Jungkook desired to hide and observe the boy from a decent distance, yet the more closer Jungkook gets to him, the more it fed his curiosity over that tingling feeling. The only one who managed to trigger something inside him was that boy, so how could he possibly let that go?..  With his heart almost beating out of his chest, Jungkook slowly followed. The sidewalk was always wet and the threat of rain loomed in the evenings. Mornings were dim and cold and the walks to the bus stop were slow.. Not that Jungkook complained about. Every minute meant the world to him around that boy.   
  
  
_Courage over fear.._  
  
_Courage over fear!.._  
  
_Courage.. over fear.._  
  
_No.. Enough is enough! For how long are you going to do this!  you idiot! just.. talk to him!_  
  
_A simple hello! That's it!_

 

His thoughts came to a halt as soon as he bumped into something.. Or rather, someone. He looked up and froze as his eyes met with the older's. Jungkook didn't realize he was deep into his thoughts to notice the boy who came to a sudden stop as his eyes curiously watched behind him. The younger felt his firm arms gripping tightly on jungkook's as the older' breath smoked and rose above him, his worried expression had Jungkook a blushing mess. He soon regained his composure yet he couldn't look him in the eye.. Which the boy had found admirable. Jungkook found himself slightly trembling.. Disappointed in himself for giving out such an embarrassing first impression. This is not how he imagined they would meet, he thought. Moreover, he feared for the other's reaction over this all. Doubts aroused his fear even more.   
  
_Oh god.. Does he know?_  
  
_Did he notice ???_  
  
_Now he'll think of me as a creep.. Nice. Jackass._  
  
_Kiss your expectations goodbye._  
  
_" Disgusting.. " yup that's what I should be expecting_  
  
_My life is ove-_  
  
" Are you okay? " 

_NopeNopeNopeNopeNope._

" Uh.. Yeah. Are you?.. I'm sorry I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going.. I'm sorry! " Jungkook bowed apologetically, but as soon as he felt the older's hand petting his shoulder he felt his face burning up. Slowly, he looked up and quickly away as soon as their eyes met.   
  
" Are you always that shy? " The boy asked with a soft smile.   
  
" J-just around new people.. " Jungkook answered, still looking down.   
  
" Ah well, let's change that! I have a feeling I won't be new for long. 

  
  
I'm Kim Taehyung. "   
  
_Oh I know._  
  
" I'm Jeon Jungkook, nice to meet you.. u-uh "   
  
" Just call me hyung, Jungkook-ah " Taehyung gifted the younger with his wide box smile, his heart surely fluttered at the sight of that.   
  
" Okay.. Hyung. "   
  
" Do you live nearby?.. " Taehyung questioned.   
  
" Not really.. I have to take a bus to reach home down at XXX "   
  
" Ah.. Mine is nearby but I'll tag along- "   
  
" N-no! Hyung that's too much effort- "   
  
" And?.. "  
  
" And.. I don't want to trouble you of course.. "   
  
" And? "   
  
" Stop saying and! "   
  
" ..... And? "   
  
" Oh my god.. "   
  
Taehyung blinked a few times before he started to laugh, not that Jungkook minded. It was pleasant to hear that deep voice of his.

" Ah don't be serious! What's so wrong in wanting to make sure you get home safely?.. Besides it might rain. "  the older reasoned.  
  
_He's.. Worried about me?.._  
  
_Why.._

" How did you know it's going to rain? " Jungkook wondered. The older pointed at the sky.   
  
" It's pretty obvious.. Also my father is a weather forecaster " Taehyung chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.   
  
" ..... Okay " Jungkook mumbled.   
  
" Hmm? "   
  
" O-okay, I said "   
  
" Let's step by the cafe that's near the bus stop, I wanna get us some coffee " Taehyung said as he back walked ahead of the younger with a wide smile plastered on his face.   
  
Jungkook stood frozen as he gazed at the older. His heart was beating erratically in his chest so hard that he thought it might fly out.   
  
But it felt good.   
  
A start of.. Something good. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
" I'll be heading back now. " Taehyung said, all drenched in rain after having the two dashing to Jungkook's house and taking cover under the door canopy.   
  
" What? Hyung the next bus comes in 40 minutes.. "   
  
" And?.. "   
  
" And stay with me till it comes! " Jungkook snapped, his eyes widened as he covered his mouth. The younger quickly glanced at Taehyung, about to apologize, yet the older's red cheeks had Jungkook lost for words. The sudden laughter bursting out of Taehyung embarrassed the younger even more.   
  
" You're different.. " Taehyung confessed with a deep tone.   
  
" Different? How? " Jungkook responded, words almost coming out as a whisper.   
  
" I just have a feeling that you're full of surprises. "   
  
" .. Is that bad? "   
  
" No.. "   
  
_Watching you building up this interest in me.. Slowly yet deeply.. It gives me a feeling I've barely felt in my life._  
  
  
_How you show me significance.. How you consume your time watching over me.. How you speak highly of me, and fluster when I suddenly, yet intentionally pass by you._  
  
_How you gaze at me.. That sincerity in your eyes.._  
  
_Is it in your heart too? I wonder.._

 

" It's.. " 

 

_All these little things..  
_

  
_.. Surprise me,_  
  
_To this long lost feeling I believed it died inside of me._  
  
" .. Perfect. "   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
" Here. " Jungkook handed the older an umbrella before he lead him outside, assuring Taehyung to hurry not to miss the bus. Taehyung chuckled and quickly waved at the younger before he rushed his way towards the bus, stopping midway. He turned around and smiled, A smile that lights up the universe Jungkook thought, everyone else knows that.. But what they can't see is that he lights the younger up inside so completely that his darkness disappears. Taehyung truly, and definitely makes Jungkook whole and happy.

  
_Weird.._  
  
_Why do I feel homesick?.._  
  
_To what?.._  
  
_.. To whom.._  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_**December 30th, 2019** _

  
" Homesickness.. 

Not to a  home that wasn't even mine.. " Jungkook softly spoke, his eyes fixated at the name of his universe, deeply carved into the grave stone.   
  
" But a home I can't return to.. Any longer. "   
  
  
  
  
" .. Happy birthday.. My universe. "    
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
I lied.   
  
I really wanted to try and clear up everything but I don't want this to end soon, so the next chapters would be about Jungkook's past with Taehyung, and.. someone else  
  
Jungkook deserves a lot of chapters, baby suffered a lot. And the thought of Tiny innocent small predebut JK with taehyung really satisfies me but sadly he won't remain an uke for long. 

P.S: I'll be transitioning from past to present frequently so bare with me, if anything is unclear feel free to mention it   
  
There will be other chapters about Hoseok and Jimin as well, I have a lot more to add before we come back to the main characters (sope) so be patient and I hope you enjoy this with me.   
  
Thank you!

  
  
  


 


	24. Let Go

  
  
_**January 1st, 2019** _

__

" Jungkook-ah! Can you come over for a sec "   
  
" Yes hyung? "   
  
" Here you are. Mom wants to clean the house up so can you check this boxes? Figure out what you want to keep and what you don't. We'll either throw it away or donate it "   
  
" Ah, alright " 

JungHyun observed his younger brother with as he rummaged through a box of old belongings, Jungkook suddenly froze, taking out a small lunch box with purple dots all over. Jung-Hyun soon realized what that was, his heart was crushed as he saw the younger's eyes welling up with tears. Jungkook was still gripping on the lunch box, staring down at it. He watched his tears as they dropped on the box, wiping off the dust as they streamed down its surface. 

" Jungkook-ah.. " The older sighed, soon tossed an arm around the younger's shoulder.   
  
" The thing about life is..  it pushes you until you break just to see if you can put yourself back together.  
  
He..   
  
Wouldn't want you to remain shattered. "   


_**March 11th, 2013** _

 

" Jeon Jungkook! "   
  
" What? I'm eating- "   
  
" Someone's looking for you "   
  
" Tell that someone I'm eating then "   
  
" It's a sunbae. Brown hair, mole under his right eye and- "   
  
Jungkook dashed his way out of class before his classmate could even finish, almost bumping into his favorite person in the world. Enthusiasm firing him inside as he called on the older.   
  
" Hyung! What brings you here? " Jungkook said as he smiled widely, unable to cloud his joyous behavior.   
  
" I can't check up on Jungkookie? " Taehyung noticed the younger's excitement as he ruffled his hair. The younger knew what day it was, he counted the days as they felt like a decade to him. A day where he can send his worries away, lock down his fears, escape a world of agony just to emphasize on the one who mattered the most. Nothing and no one else mattered. Asking Jungkook to ease down the excitement was like trying to tell a fire not to burn. His eyes were alight, his every muscle desired to move, to dance, to jump. He chattered on and on, everything about Jungkook was mesmerizing to the older, that boy is love in a bottle; just seeing him makes me glad to be alive, Taehyung thought.   
  
" Besides.. Someone was kind enough to tell me that you don't eat well in your break. " The older added.   
  
" What? I do eat though! I was just eating " Jungkook reasoned.   
  
" A choco pie is not a real meal.. Here " The older handed Jungkook a lunch box, it was shaped as a bunny, green with purple dots all over. It was a normal gesture, a normal lunchbox to Taehyung but Jungkook felt like the gesture was worth more than diamonds.   
  
Jungkook  suppressed a smile, he turned his head to the side to avert Taehyung's gaze, but the sudden rosiness of his cheeks gave him away.   
  
" Cute.. " The older mumbled. " Ah I need to get going, Jungkookie. I'll text you ! " With that said, Taehyung waved at the younger and left off, leaving a flustered boy behind.   
  
" Who's cute? " Jungkook got startled from the sudden voice popping up behind him, he turned around and sighed.   
  
" Noona you keep doing that.. You startled me. " Jihye smirked at the younger and tilted her head.   
  
" Hmm but you didn't answer me.. Who is he by the way? "   
  
" .. M-my friend. "   
  
" Friends flirt with each other? Interesting.. "   
  
" Noona enough. He really is just a friend, it would be weird if he was.. More than that "   
  
" I see what you mean but.. Does it matter? "   
  
" What do you mean does it matter.. We're both.. guys. "   
  
" Jeon Jungkook. Class is starting soon, but I want you in front of my face behind school when classes end. "   
  
" .. Okay. "   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
" Aww is that choco milk for me? "   
  
" Not really no "   
  
" It's mine now so " Jihye snatched the chocolate milk and chugged it all down as Jungkook observed her with a disappointed face, lips slightly parted.   
  
" You're hopeless.. " He stated.   
  
" Tell me something new " Jihye confidently responded.   
  
Jihye observed the younger carefully as he seemed spaced out. She knew what could possibly be occupying his mind right now. Jihye shifted her weight and sat next to the younger, tossing her arm around his shoulder.   
_  
There it goes again, my inner dialogue._

  _but it's not my friend. It whispers to me, "Everything will go wrong, it's terrible, no way back, disaster, ruin..."_

 _I never thought I'd realize that this feeling was nothing more than love.._  
  
_I've loved you since the beginning.._

_Wait.._

_Love? Don't fool yourself.._  
  
_Why would he ruin his life and be with me._  
  
_Why would he love me in the first place?_  
  
_Am I worth the hell that would come our way?_

The world seemed closer to Jungkook's eyes and the air became more foggy, harder to breathe. His thoughts scattered like there was an electrical storm in his head, too many short circuits to make any sense.   
  
  
_You're going to fail, it'll be over, give up, run away.._  
  
_He won't show mercy._  
  
_He won't accept you._  
  
_Taehyung won't.._  
  
" Jungkook. "   
  
" .. Let go.   
  
Just let go of your feelings. I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you and say that you'll be free from judgments however..  
  
.. They'll judge you anyway. It is mental to judge without having the thought of asking how it happened with a bit of empathy. They'll try to harm you, bully you, judge you. Some won't accept you, some would back stab you, bring hell to you and crush you down.   
  
But.   
  
Isn't that what love is?.. Sacrifice? Sincerity? A cure perhaps? ..   


I believe that each of us deserve a chance at love, and I know it sound ridiculous that there’s someone out there for everyone but I do believe in love in its every form.. Now I know some believe there’s no such thing as true love, that it all ends in heartbreak and pain, but I think that’s the beauty of it. To have something so perfect for such a short while, and then for it to disappear into nothing. It’s an endless loop, never ending, always on the move. You never know where it will take you. That's the thing about love, it's so beautiful and mysterious and magical. I believe we all deserve a chance at love, because we all deserve something magical.. So don't you fucking dare let anyone tell you who you can and cannot love. Don't let them put limits on what is or is not appropriate. Take the shackles off love because it knows no boundaries, geographical nor religious. it can't be cramped within one race or culture. 

 

YOU can love the whole world, 

YOU can love any person of any age, 

Any gender 

And any background. 

Do you understand this now Jeon Jungkook?

  
Let.  
  
Go. "   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Jungkookie! "   
  
The older rushed towards Jungkook's front door, yanking him before he could even step out. He wrapped the younger in his warm arms which Jungkook didn't want to escape their grip. It felt as if all his pain went away, mentally and physically, mostly the depressing pain. 

_If I could only stay in his arms forever,_

_safe from the world's harmful people._

_I could only hope.._

" Hyung..   
  
  
  
  
There's something I need to confess. "  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sorry for the late chap I caught cold  ❤   
  
A/N: I won't mention everything that happened between taehyung and Jungkook since it's somehow irrelevant. Just the most important memories/stages.  
  
+   
  
pay attention to the dates  ❤   


 


	25. It’s Only You

 

 

 

" A confession ? " Taehyung smiled sheepishly at the younger, and it became more challenging for Jungkook to focus since the older's hands were on his waist. Not a firm grip, but gentle enough to have him chasing the words in his mind.

 

" Jungkook? "

 

" Huh? Ah right.. " As the younger took a shaky deep breath, he closed his eyes and prayed for the best. His trembling body soon froze in its place, eyes wide open as he heard words that ticked off his biggest fears.

 

" Are you seeing this? "

 

" I know. In public too? Gross.. "

 

" I think I might vomit if they suck each other's faces.. "

 

" Hahah! Seriously bravery nowadays exists in the wrong people. "

 

Jungkook lifted his head up, his bangs covered his blurry eyes but they soon met clarity. He held on his breath as his eyes met theirs. Eyes that were flashed with indignance and anger, much like lightning on a pitch black night. Judgmental eyes that strengthen your weakness and weakens your strength.

 

Jungkook's eyes shifted back to the older's. He couldn't breathe, it felt as if someone was choking him. His heart was racing and all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and wait for someone to save him, to guide him to a place filled with desired answers. A choked cry for help forced itself up his throat, and he felt a drop run down his cheek. It seemed as if this was the end of the road for him as he voiced out those words with a painful smile, and a heavy heart.

 

 

 

" I can't do this to you. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

" Jihye ? It's so late sweetheart what are you doing here? "

 

" I'm so sorry Mrs. Jeon .. Is Jungkook here? He won't answer my calls nor my texts "

 

" He came home a few hours ago but.. Didn't respond to anyone and locked himself in his room.. To be honest with you I'm worried sick.. But I believe in you, always. Come inside, I'll make you something to drink " Jihye bowed to the older and rushed her way upstairs, pausing inches away from Jungkook's room. She gently knocked on the door, speaking with a soft voice.

 

" Jungkook-ah?.. Please open up.. Whatever happened I'm begging you please tell me! I'm worried sick.. please open this door and I promise we'll fix this whatever it is.. " Jihye waited for a few minutes before she heard the door unlock and open by the younger. Her heart squeezed in her chest as she saw his red swollen eyes, realizing this is bigger than she thought it would be.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

" What do you mean? Why all of a sudden? I can't make out any sense of this! Why am I seeing tears? What's wrong Jungkook-ah?.. " Taehyung's mind was flooded with questions, and the sight of the younger tearing up only stacked it with more. He soon felt anxious, it was hard to breathe and his sight grew blurry. Was it being over touchy too suffocating for Jungkook? He thought.

 

" Jungkook.. "

 

" Hyung. I'm sorry but can you let go of my waist? I need to head back inside.. I don't feel so well "

 

_Is it?.._

_For fuck's sake why can't I let go?_

 

" Hyung? I need to go "

 

_Don't say it like that_

 

" Let me go "

 

_Will you.._

 

" Come back? " Taehyung's words slipped out like a whisper.

 

" What?.. "

 

" Will you come back? .. "

 

Jungkook gripped tightly on the older's hands, slowly breaking free from his grip. He forced his widest smile as he let go of Taehyung's hands.

 

 

" I promise. Goodnight Hyung ! " Jungkook said with a cheerful tone filled with lies. He knew Taehyung can see through this act, but it didn't matter. This is for the best, he thought. He'd rather drown in society's crudeness, and watch his lover on the surface with a smile on his face.

 

The younger waved for the last time as Taehyung forced his feet to lead the way back home. He slowly shut the door. His trembling hands quickly found their way to his mouth, covering it as he let pain take full control, handing out the attention it always demanded.

 

Jungkook's emotional pain didn't hurt like as a bruise or a cut  would. It was this heavy feeling, weighting down on his heart. His head span and his tongue felt too big for his mouth. He felt the need to wipe away those endless tears, the loudest pain. But sadness is truly inevitable, and those desires were far away from his reach. The only explanation he could sum up, is how he caused that pain on himself. All that did though, is build up even more pain.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

" So that's what happened.. "

 

Jihye and Jungkook remained silent for the next few minutes. She was about to break the silence till the younger beat her up to it.

 

" Pain dulls with time, doesn't it noona?.. That things will get better, but how can that be achieved so easily? I can never understand that.. I know that over time, the memory of his presence will escape my mind. I'll no longer see his face in strangers, and the things we once shared no longer would bring tears to my eyes. If getting past this pain means forgetting him.. Would I dare not suffer for the rest of my life ?.. " Jungkook's tears uncontrollably streamed down his cheeks, stinging his swollen red eyes.

 

" I'm sorry but, society's bigger than me. "

 

 

" .. Jeon Jungkook.

 

 

You're really an idiot.. " Said Jihye, as she embraced the younger in her arms.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

" You're really an idiot "

 

" Hyung please.. I'm already depressed as it is "

 

" Two weeks huh?.. That doesn't shove away our assumptions to be honest with you " Taehyung flinched at Hoseok's words. In fact, he's so close to believe them. Jungkook hasn't responded any of the older's calls nor texts. He stopped attending school ever since that day, even his classmates attempted to contact him but they informed Taehyung that it achieved no positive results. The older constantly dropped by his house, but was shut down by his mother's different response every time.

 

" _I'm sorry sweetheart.. He's sick "_

_" He's .. Staying with his grandparents for the weekend "_

_" Helping his brother..  "_

_" Asleep.. "_

_" Helping his dad .. "_

_" Away "_

 

" When did it start ? " Hoseok smiled as he caught the younger's attention.

 

" What? .. What the hell are you talking about " Taehyung defensively responded, in which the older responded back with a playful smirk.

 

" I don't like him! " The younger snapped.

 

" I never said you did. " Hoseok raised an eyebrow and chuckled. " Changing the subject.. Tell me more about this kid. "

 

" Jungkook?.. There's.. Something about him that draws people closer to him. It's not that he was only good looking but.. If your eyes meet his, it'll calm the storm in your heart. Your mind would turn blank and the only thing that would soon grow to exist in it is that beautiful boy's smile. At least.. That's what I felt when I first saw him. He was sitting on a bench near our school, his nintendo is his hands, fingers fiercely pressing the buttons. He had the straw of his banana milk in his mouth, not drinking it, but the bottle was slowly sliding away from the straw till it fell down, making a huge mess. Next thing I hear is him cursing out loud " Taehyung stopped to share a laugh with the older. " I couldn't take my eyes off him.. He was simply stunning for me.. Till our eyes met and I made a dash for it. I hid just around the corner, I could still see him if I take a peek. That's when I felt it pound hard in my chest I thought I'd pass out. He just sat there looking down, perhaps zoned out but, I could clearly see his bright red ears, his flustered self.. From then on I kept on observing him, for a whole year I’ve seen that exact same reaction whenever we were on the same ground. I never knew I’d ever have a decent talk with the guy but I believe fate gave me a push that day I ran into him.. From then on I could barely consider my life a life without him. His adorable laugh, his stunning smile, when he always calls me hyung.. The way he can see through me. See my emotions, understand me more than I understand myself.. His excitement whenever our eyes meet I just.. I’m.. “

 

“ You are. “ Hoseok responded with clear confidence and confirmation. “ I’ll pay for the coffee. “ He added, not holding back a smile.

 

“ Everyone else can tell, Taehyung-ah.

 

It’s only you. “

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hi.. Getting rustier and rustier every time I ditch this, forgive me and I hope you enjoy this chapter.


	26. Good Enough

 

 

" Oh.. Taehyung-ah " Jung-Hyung paused to yawn. " It's really late .. Are you okay ? "

 

 

 

 

" I'm here for Jungkook.. "

 

" Jungkook's .. Asleep right- "

 

" He can't sleep when he has things on his mind. Hyung please.. It won't take long I swear it. "

 

Jung-Hyun could sense the desperation in the younger's voice. He couldn't deny the fact that he wanted this to be dealt with as well; thus, allowed him in. Taehyung didn't tend to take his time approaching Jungkook's room but his racing heart forced him to. His steps getting slower and slower as his heart beat faster, his loud breathing filling up the air.

 

Taehyung slowly twisted the door knob, letting himself in. Jungkook's back was facing the older, sitting down on his bed. He was too deep into his thoughts that he didn't notice Taehyung entering his room. The older approached Jungkook, yanking him into his arms in a warm embrace. It took the younger a few seconds before he processed what just happened. His eyes soon widened, forcing his muscles to push Taehyung away but he couldn't. Perhaps he didn't want to.

 

" Don't you think it's rude to ignore your hyung for so long ?.. hm?.. 

 

 

Don't fight back Jungkook. Just let me get this off my chest.. The rest is up to you. "

 

 

" Hyung don't do this, don't make this harder than it already is. Please just go " Despite those words piercing through his heart, Jungkook felt forced to spill them out. He felt the older's lips form into a smile against his skin. Taehyung took a deep breath and embraced the younger tighter, giving him the strength he craved for at this moment.

 

" You know.. I never planned for this.

 

 

 

Falling for you was not what I planned. "

 

Taehyung could feel Jungkook trembling in his arms now. He could feel the younger's tears as his cheek gently caressed Jungkook's.

 

" We were supposed to be friends, just you and me. But you could say.. Our stars aligned and a great force pulled us to each other.. I would never forget the way you looked at me. How you always looked at me.. I'm sorry if I always expressed my fondness to you physically but.. Holding your softface gave me a sense that I finally belonged, that I was loved. Your glistening stunning eyes had a power of washing away my sorrows. The time I've spent with you stopped the world from turning, it was just you and me in this big scary universe. It's funny because I've always feared it. I've always wanted to escape it and not face it.. But it's alright, that slowly changed because you were there with me. By my side.. Whenever I felt my knees shaking and that I could hit the ground any minute, you were there to grab me back up. I'm a fool for not realizing that, a world without you is a world I can't dare to live in " Taehyung's arms trembled as he let go of his strength, tears streaming down his cheeks. " There's this.. Sound that I've always heard when you were away. A sound of something breaking. Perhaps it was my aching heart that always woke me up from my sleep. It was unfamiliar back then, yet I couldn't go back to sleep even if I closed my ears. I know it might creep you out.. I know you might think this is weird.. But can you feel my heartbeat right now?.. Can you hear the sincerity in my words?.. Can you feel what I feel?.. Can I be strong enough to ask you to stay?.. To mirror my feelings? To hold you in my arms like this forever?..

 

To be each other's strength and weakness ?..

 

Can I, love you?.. "

 

Jungkook at this moment was a mess. His loud cries, the endless tears, the hiccups, it was all evident. Yet the weight that was lifted off his shoulders, the easiness that filled him up, the happiness from this moment, were even more so.

 

 

 

" But.. You and I.. We're both- "

 

" So what?.. "

 

 

" .. Why? "

 

" Don't worry.. my love.

Because all of this is not coincidence,

We're completely different..

Because we've found our destiny. " 

 

Jungkook turned around, his puffy red eyes locked with the older's. He took a deep breath, a hiccup finding its way in between which made Taehyung chuckle. Slowly and carefully his hands reached out for the older's cheeks, gifting him with the smile he missed the most. But it was nothing compared to Jungkook's soft lips, pressed against his.

 

 

 

The moment their lips touched, the world vanished at once. Taehyung's eyes fell closed, and all he could feel was Jungkook. His warmth, his touch, his being. His heart beat so loud when the younger's arms wrapped around his neck and pulled Taehyung towards him, his entire body craved more, it craved Jungkook. But greed can toss this all away, he thought. And that now he realized, there's a lifetime for them to experience it all. The love, the pain, the happiness, the sadness. It all soon brought tears back in his eyes. He prayed it wasn't a dream, they both did. and when Taehyung pulled away for air, The younger pulled him back in. They were addicted to each other, but they knew,

 

nothing would matter after this.

 

 

Because they never had anything that was this satisfying.

 

 

 

 

" There's no turning back now Jungkook.. Is this good enough for you.. ?

 

Am I..

 

Good enough?.. "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

**March 25th, 2014**

 

Jungkook broke the kiss slowly, straddling Taehyung's waist. He sat up and his eyes met the older's, warmth surrounding his heart as he said

 

" Yeah.. You're good enough. "

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Bet you did not expect two updates in one day

 

enjoy this chapter while you can because I might fuck it up in the next ily stay healthy

 

quick reminder: previous event happened at march 25th, 2013 so yeah anniversary I busted an uwu


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